Falwell Brain Supporter Loses His Shit

It didn’t take long for The Brain’s forces to start mobilizing in their attempt to take over the world. Enter 19-year-old dipshit Mark Ewell:

Even in death, the Rev. Jerry Falwell rouses the most volatile of emotions.

Authorities arrested a Liberty University student for having several gasoline-based bombs in his car.

The student, 19-year-old Mark Ewell of Amissville, Va., reportedly told authorities that he was making the bombs to stop protesters from disrupting the funeral service.

Three other suspects are being sought, one of whom is a soldier from Fort Benning, Ga., and another is a high school student. No information was available on the third person.

Authorities were alerted to the potential bomb plot by a concerned relative of Ewell.

OK. I know that the first thing which jumps out at you is the obvious conflict in using bombs to prevent disruption of a funeral service. Bombs, in of themselves, can be rather disruptive even in the best of circumstances. But The Brain is all over this. Ever since his takeover move, he has been coming up with more tools for global domination, like invisible silent gas bombs that could disrupt only protesters. For real.

And to top it all off, this kid managed to take all of the steam out of Newt’s speech. After all, a Falwell supporter isn’t exactly a secular radical, is he?

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10 Comments

Filed under 08_space_cowboy

10 responses to “Falwell Brain Supporter Loses His Shit

  1. So…you’re telling me that even at RIGHTWING events the psycho bombers are rightwingers?!

  2. This kid puts the Amiss in Amissville.

  3. Um, wouldn’t that be considered, oh, I don’t know, a terrorist activity? Will he be charged with planning to carry out terrorist activities?
    I know. I’m all full of the crazy talk today.

  4. Apparently the jerk’s name is spelled Uhl and his relatives turned him in. I wonder if his handiwork was intended for Fred Phelps or Soulforce?

  5. Jay in Oregon

    Will he be charged with planning to carry out terrorist activities?

    No.

    Although I wonder if Fox News will “accidentally” label this kid as a protester, kinda like how Mark Foley was a Democrat and Opie & Anthony are liberals.

  6. We’re not allowed to call him a terrorist though, because, you know, he’s not a Muslim.

  7. Doktor Wankenstein

    Wait-a-second!

    I thought that Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church was supposed to be out there… PROTESTING! …because of (Falwell’s) part in creating “the Satanic Sodomite Zeitgeist.” (did someone already mention that’s a great name for a band?)

    What gives…?

    This coulda reallly been somethin’!

  8. Phoenician in a time of Romans

    Well, if the potential protesters-flambe involved the Phelps, perhaps we should rec – no! No! Bad Phoenician!

  9. pidomon

    I belive Snowball was behind this not the Brain (showing of my geeky street cred)

  10. Bombs, in of themselves, can be rather disruptive even in the best of circumstances.

    no shit.

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