Blogger offers Texas conservatives $500 to abort themselves

BLOGOSPHERE — A Blogger has proposed that Texas legislators offering women considering abortion cash to not have abortion be offered $500 to abort themselves.

William K. Wolfrum, who added the offer is also good for conservative radio talk show hosts, said Friday the money might persuade the legislators to make the world a better place, and that there were far too many Texas conservatives running around mucking up the U.S.

“If this incentive would give pause and end the existence of even 5 percent of these conservatives, perhaps we wouldn’t have lost so many Americans and helped in the slaughter of so many Iraqi civilians,” Wolfrum said. “And really, it would make the great state of Texas much more livable.”

One political analyst, speaking anonymously, said that being that so many conservatives had sold their souls for much less, she believed many would jump on the opportunity, and that stock in kick-stool and rope companies were skyrocketing in anticipation of a massive jump in sales.

Crossposted

Sweet Jesus

Bill Donohue is back in the news, this time he’s bitching about Jesus. Well, more specifically about one sweeeeeet Jesus:

NEW YORK – The Easter season unveiling of an anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ, dubbed “My Sweet Lord” by its creator, has infuriated Catholics preparing to observe some of their holiest days of the year.

The 6-foot sculpture by Cosimo Cavallaro was to debut Monday evening, four days before Christians mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. The final day of the exhibit at the Lab Gallery inside Manhattan’s Roger Smith Hotel was planned for Easter Sunday.

“This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever,” said Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League, a watchdog group. “It’s not just the ugliness of the portrayal, but the timing – to choose Holy Week is astounding.”

[…]

The artwork was created from more than 200 pounds of milk chocolate, and it features Christ with his arms outstretched. The Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth.

OH NOES==! No loincloth!== You mean Jesus had a penis?! A giant chocolate Jesus with a penis for all to see. I’m surprised Donahue didn’t keel right over.

You can check out a (SFW) picture at the link.

Yarrr, matey!

We find out via The All Spin Zone that a student in North Buncombe, NC, exercised his Pastafarianism and found himself suspended:

A North Buncombe student is suspended for wearing pirate attire to class. The school says he created a disturbance. But Bryan Killian says costume is part of his religion, Pastafarianism, and that the suspension is the school’s way of violating his first amendment rights.

[…]

Officials at North Buncombe say their decision to suspend Killian for one day had nothing to do with religion or religious beliefs. In a statement, Buncombe County Schools say, “…clothes and items that are deemed to be inappropriate or disruptive to classroom instruction are prohibited.” School administrators also say he ignored repeated warnings about his attire, and they had no choice but suspend him.

Yo ho, baby. Yo ho.

ASZ also points us to a local news poll (that you can vote in) that asks if you think the school district did the right thing regarding the suspension. Interestingly enough, most people are saying no.

Be Nice to the Scots

Or you may not like what you find in the mail!

A Scottish company has been slammed for inviting customers to “send a poo” to an Englishman on St George’s Day.

Edinburgh-based firm PostaPoo.com is selling plastic “realistic poo” to send to “your favourite (or least favourite) Englishman” to mark April 23.

Customers are given the choice between human or dog-style excrement, wrapped in tissue paper along with a personal message set beside the English flag.

The company sells their poo (I can’t believe I just typed that) year-round, and say the prank is popular with disgruntled customers and “revenge seekers.” The St. George’s Day gimmick is a new angle to peddle their wares. St. George, for those of you that might not know, is the patron saint of England. So basically, this novelty poo company is taking advantage of hundreds of years of animosity and oppression to sell fake poo. But at least they’re being light-hearted about it; it does all seem to be in good fun, and the company claims they’ve received no complaints from customers or recipients.

Members of the English Democrats Party, however, are not amused.

But members of the English Democrats Party, which is campaigning for an English Parliament, questioned the stunt’s legality.

Robin Tilbrook, the party’s national chairman, said: “The company’s website says they will not send this so-called ‘practical joke’ if the message is deemed threatening, racist, homophobic, or displays religious bigotry.

“It appears to me to be threatening, possibly racist and without question bigoted. It’s certainly offensive and possibly an offence.”

It’s a little difficult for me to take this seriously when they’re talking about fake poo. Hell, just the fact that they’re calling it “poo,” and not a “turd” or anything else is hilarious to me. Well, we’ll just leave them to squabble over their plastic poo. In the meantime, I will remind Mr. Shakes that while I once threatened to send him a pair of The World’s Most Awesome Pants, I’m still a nice guy and do not deserve poo in the post.

Please.

Someone Call the Waaaaaaaahhhmbulance!

Wal-Mart’s CEO is just so darned mad at the people of NYC==! Those meanies!== They’re such bullies! He wants to come in and put up some of his big shiny stores, and they just won’t let him, darn it!

First, a little bit from the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, then the money quote:

Wal-Mart May Never Enter Manhattan

Still, Stuart Applebaum, president of The Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, which is leading the charge against Wal-Mart in New York, said Scott’s comments were good news for the union. The union represents 100,000 workers throughout the U.S. and Canada, including 45,000 workers in New York.

“They are going to find that no matter where they are in New York City, the response is going to be the same,” Applebaum said. “New Yorkers will not tolerate their way of operating. Their promises of low prices come at too high of a cost.”

Applebaum said that if Wal-Mart were able open in New York — the nation’s largest city — it would mean that there “would be no place that would be off limits.”

After the way Wal-Mart elbowed their way into Chicago recently, I’m admitting to a heaping spoonful of schadenfreude here. Wal-Mart’s not getting what they want for once. Hah! And this made me grin:

In an interview with The New York Times, published Wednesday, Lee Scott, Wal-Mart chief executive and chairman, said that trying to conduct business in New York was so expensive that “I don’t think it is worth the effort. I don’t care if we are ever here,” he told The New York Times at a meeting with editors and reporters on Tuesday.

You don’t want me? Fine! I don’t care! I don’t want to be in your stinky ‘ol city, anyway! I’m taking my exploited workers and going home!

Of course, it’s high costs, not the strong campaign against Wal-Mart that caused this tantrum.

Ahem.

The Prophet from Colorado Springs

If you’re a Christian, sing Hallelujah; the Second Coming is nigh. If you’re Jewish, the Messiah is here… and He’s living in Colorado Springs. He’s masquerading as a talk-show host and right-wing power broker James Dobson, but don’t let that charade fool you: He truly must be the Son of God because He has the power to say who is and isn’t a Christian.

Focus on the Family founder James Dobson appeared to throw cold water on a possible presidential bid by former Sen. Fred Thompson while praising former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who is also weighing a presidential run, in a phone interview Tuesday.

“Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for,” Dobson said of Thompson. “[But] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression,” Dobson added, saying that such an impression would make it difficult for Thompson to connect with the Republican Party’s conservative Christian base and win the GOP nomination.

Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, took issue with Dobson’s characterization of the former Tennessee senator. “Thompson is indeed a Christian,” he said. “He was baptized into the Church of Christ.”

In a follow-up phone conversation, Focus on the Family spokesman Gary Schneeberger stood by Dobson’s claim. He said that, while Dobson didn’t believe Thompson to be a member of a non-Christian faith, Dobson nevertheless “has never known Thompson to be a committed Christian – someone who talks openly about his faith.”

“We use that word – Christian – to refer to people who are evangelical Christians,” Schneeberger added. “Dr. Dobson wasn’t expressing a personal opinion about his reaction to a Thompson candidacy; he was trying to ‘read the tea leaves’ about such a possibility.”

I seem to recall a passage in the bible that warns against false prophets, cautions against people who loudly proclaim their faith, and advises us to go into our closet and pray in silence. But what do I know; I’m just a simple Quaker who believes that talking openly about your faith is arrogant, prideful, and tends to make others think that you think you’re somehow more holy.

I also believe that the Constitution was right in saying that there should be no religious test for any office, and if some pompous blowhard with delusions of grandeur decides that Fred Thompson isn’t worthy of his vote because he’s not “Christian” enough, I need to take a closer look at Mr. Thompson; he might be my kind of candidate after all. (Just kidding.)

Dr. Dobson and his crew keep predicting the End of Days and the Rapture when all of his like-minded “Christians” get beamed up to heaven, leaving behind all their clothes, worldly possessions, and the rest of us non-believers. As far as I’m concerned, it can’t happen soon enough: all those annoying, constipated, gay-bashing busybodies will be gone, and we can sell all their stuff on E-Bay.

Elections Have Consequences: Equal Rights Amendment Edition

Oh. Mah. Gawd. Twenty-five-years after it failed to be ratified by three-quarters of state legislatures to become a Constitutional Amendment (and eighty-four years after it was first introduced in Congress), the Equal Rights Amendment – now known as the Women’s Equality Amendment – is having a resurgence.

Yesterday, House and Senate Democrats reintroduced the measure … and vowed to bring it to a vote in both chambers by the end of the session.

…”Elections have consequences, and isn’t it true those consequences are good right now?” Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) asked a mostly female crowd yesterday at a news conference, as the audience cheered. “We are turning this country around, bit by bit, to put it in a more progressive direction.”

The amendment consists of 52 words and has one key line: “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.”

I’m crying. I’m honestly sitting here crying, reading that line and thinking that it may finally make its way into the Constitution in my lifetime.

Taking the Fifth

There are times when I wished I’d gone to law school. That way I might better understand the nuances of what it means when Monica Goodling, the Justice Department’s White House liaison, has her lawyer, John M. Dowd, tell the Senate Judiciary Committe she plans to take the Fifth Amendment when she’s called before them to testify in the matter of the U.S. attorney purge.

On its face, the Fifth Amendment protects you from self-incrimination; you can’t be forced to testify against yourself. But as several readers of TPM note, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to testify if you don’t like the people who will be asking the questions, as Ms. Goodling’s lawyer claims, or you know someone who might have committed perjury in the matter. It also doesn’t mean you can’t answer “any questions,” as Mr. Dowd states in his letter; you just don’t have to answer the questions that could directly incriminate you.

Taking the Fifth has a lot of baggage that goes along with it. If you’re old enough to remember the HUAC hearings and Sen. Joseph McCarthy’s witch hunt in the 1950’s, a lot of people who were hauled up in front of the committee took the Fifth to protect their names and reputations, much to the derision of the investigators; they labeled such witnesses “Fifth Amendment Communists” and darkly implied that they were hiding the truth from the committee and the public when all they were doing — rightly or wrongly — was using the Constitutional shield to protect their livelihoods and their reputation from what they thought was a grandstanding committee more interested in the limelight then in actually finding out the truth. And that may be at the heart of Ms. Goodling’s motives for taking the Fifth; she and her attorneys are indulging in a bit of theatrics here in order to paint the hearing as just a witch hunt by the Democrats who are out to get back at the White House and the Department of Justice now that they are in charge.

Well, I do know something about drama, and it’s a sure bet that that is what Ms. Goodling is relying on to draw the attention to her case with her refusal to testify and generate some sympathy among the White House defenders. But it also makes things a bit uncomfortable for them because if Ms. Goodling is taking the Fifth, the implication is that she has done something illegal, and the entire White House line all along is that the dismissals of the attorneys were all above board and perfectly legal; they were just mishandled. So where, in the whole scheme of things, does Ms. Goodling step into the realm of legal jeopardy? Perhaps, as Josh Marshall says, “she’s afraid of indictment for perjury because she has to go up to Congress and testify under oath before the White House has decided what its story is.”

Take the Twenty Bucks

An old joke:

An attractive, well-dressed man walks into a bar and spies an equally attractive young lady. They strike up a conversation and after a few drinks and pleasantries, he says, “Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?”

“Of course,” she purrs.

“Okay, well, then, how about for twenty bucks?”

“Of course not!” she replies indignantly, “what do you think I am?”

“We’ve already established that,” he says. “Now we’re just negotiating the price.

I was reminded of that old chestnut when I heard the White House is refusing to negotiate with Congress over their offer to let Karl Rove and Harriet Miers talk to them in private, without being under oath, and without a transcript. The White House says take it or leave it, and they’re refusing to budge.

The White House knew from the moment they made the offer that Congress wouldn’t go for it. It’s a demeaning proposal, and they compounded it by calling it “extremely generous.” How many different ways could they come up with to insult Congress, and the American people in the bargain? My guess is that we’re about to find out.

A Waste of a Good Cock

Michael Savage is just dancing on the razor’s edge of looneyville; ready to topple over any second into a new career as straightjacket model. Fresh off his yowling rant calling trans people “psychopaths,” and referring to them as circus freaks in reference to a news story about a murdered transgender woman, he’s done it again in another abhorrent attack. See, not only are trans people psychotic, they’re also never going to be happy, they’re all prostitutes, and (get this) they’re the cause of the Columbine massacre.

No, really.

SAVAGE: The wages of sin are death. You’re gonna cut off your willy, you’re gonna walk around in women’s clothes, you’re gonna hook — you’re gonna wind up dead under a freeway, Johnson. It’s not gonna be an HBO special about your travails, and how surgery made you a happy woman.

I never understand these people. Guy is 55 years old, he had three children, he discovers there was a woman within, and he goes — shots and hormones, three years of hormones, and live like a woman. And then you gotta dress like a woman for two years. And then they go to a psychopathic, sadistic doctor who does the thing for them. No more in Denmark — I mean, the capital of it is somewhere in Colorado, of course, near Columbine. You wonder why the kids shoot each other there with black raincoats. *

But wait, there’s more! Savage then goes on to spout:

And apparently it costs more to put a willy on than it does to take a willy off. I’ve always said if a city’s gonna pay for this kind of insane self-mutilation, the least they could do is put a willy on ice. I mean, if they’re taking a perfectly good willy off a guy, why throw it in the garbage? Put it on ice, save it for the next time one of these psycho women in the city wants to be willied, I mean wants to be a John when she’s a Jane. Because it costs like 40 grand to put one on and 20 grand to take one off. I would say you can do a mean price of 30 grand if they could start saving the willies from these psychos. *

You got all that? Apparently, the thing that’s upsetting Savage the most about trans people (well, MTF, anyway) is that they’re a waste of a good cock. Leaving aside his complete ignorance as to how sexual reassignment is done in the first place, this is just goofy. I mean, could Savage feel any more castration anxiety? Is it possible that one man’s sexuality can be this threatened by people that have nothing whatsoever to do with him?

But that’s a separate story. I’m into cost saving at all costs.

Great. How about saving your breath?

* Emphasis by Media Matters, which I round appropriate and used. Thanks to Shakes for the perfect image; one of these days I really need to learn Photoshop.

“If you believe in peanut butter–You gotta believe in Peter Pan!”

A friend on a board I frequent found this via Richard Dawkins’ site, amusingly titled “Peanut Butter, The Atheist’s Nightmare!”:

Chris added:

“See, I think this guy must be buying the wrong brand of peanut butter. Usually within a few days of opening a new jar, I find a thriving civilization of tiny people in the peanut butter, busily inventing the wheel and taming fire. After a week they usually have computers and nuclear fission.

Then I enjoy smearing their cities on a piece of bread and hearing their tiny screams as I devour them.”

Shaker Gourmet

The recipe this week comes from Shaker Chris of Exit Stage-Left:

Iowa Pork Chops with Maytag Blue Cheese Butter

For the blue cheese butter:

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ounce Maytag Blue cheese, crumbled, at room temperature
1 tablespoon chopped toasted walnuts
1 tablespoon thinly slivered fresh basil
Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper

For the pork:

4 bone-in pork loin chops (each about 1 1/4 inches thick and 8 to 10 ounces)
2 cloves garlic, cut in half crosswise
Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper

1. Make the blue cheese butter: Place the butter and blue cheese in a mixing bowl and mash together with a fork. Stir in the walnuts and basil and season with salt and pepper to taste (add just a little salt; the cheese is already quite salty). The blue cheese butter can be kept refrigerated, covered, for 5 days or frozen for 3 months.

2. Set up the grill and preheat to high.

3. When ready to cook, rub both sides of each pork chop with a half clove of garlic, then season the chops generously with salt and pepper. Brush and oil the grill grate. Place the chops on the hot grate and grill until cooked through, 6 to 8 minutes per side. When ready to turn, the chops will be nicely browned on the bottom. To test for doneness, use the poke method; the meat should be firm but gently yielding. Or insert an instant-read meat thermometer sideways into a chop: The internal temperature should be about 160°F.

4. Transfer the grilled chops to a platter or plates and let rest for 2 minutes. Top each with a dollop of the blue cheese butter and serve.

Well, This is Going to be Uncomfortable…

So, the radio alarm went off this morning, and while I was waiting for the husband to get out of the shower and petting the dog, I hear that good ‘ol Gonzo is going to be visiting my gorgeous city today. “What,” I thought, “could that weasel be doing in Chicago? Doesn’t he have more important things to concern himself with back in Washington?”

Well, apparently, I forgot for a moment that it’s all about the children. Gonzales is going to be touting “Project Safe Children,” a program created in conjunction with other efforts to keep kids “safe from internet predators.”

Given Gonzo’s track record on keeping kids safe, and my general faith in “programs” created to keep kids “safe” from predators, let’s just say that this news brought about more than a few snorts of scorn in Smart Patrol HQ this morning.

But here’s the deeee-lish part of the story. Gonzo’s going to be giving this appearance with the head of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and…

…wait for it…

Patrick Fitzgerald.

Oh. Mah. Gawd.

Gonzales is scheduled to appear at the Dirksen U.S. Courthouse in Chicago to discuss the “Project Safe Childhood” campaign — designed to protect kids from online predators — with Fitzgerald and Ernie Allen, chief executive of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. But he’s likely to face reporters’ questions about Fitzgerald being ranked as undistinguished on a chart sent from his department to the White House in 2005, as well as the controversial fall firings of a group of U.S. attorneys.

Fitzgerald’s ranking was reported last week in a Washington Post story.

The mediocre rating has been the subject of much joking among prosecutors, federal agents, defense lawyers and the media in the city, especially at the building where Fitzgerald has earned accolades for sweeping public corruption investigations.

Fitzgerald spoke out about the situation last week as his office was announcing yet another indictment against a one-time City Hall heavyweight.

“Oh, crap.”
Pass the popcorn.

Why It Matters

Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo has been in the forefront of exposing the facts and realities behind the U.S. Attorney purge scandal. In the process he’s been asked a number of times by people who want to know, either honestly or in a veiled attack on the pursuit of the scandal, what the big deal is. So eight federal prosecutors got hosed. They serve at the pleasure of the president; they can be dismissed for whatever reason. Why raise such a stink about eight disgruntled lawyers?

Get to know Bill, Part 1: The Bats

Being the new guy at a tight-knit community is always a tough thing. People look at you and think “Hey, who’s this jerk?” or “Wow, what smug-looking jerk,” or “Damn, I bet he’s a jerk.”

This is totally understandable. After all, the “Shakers” are much like the “Super Friends.” Now this new dude shows up, and it appears his only superpower is to look really smug. Understandably the Super Friends are somewhat nervous and disconcerted.

So that’s why I’ve decided to make a few posts every now and again, helping you all get a better idea of who I am and what I stand for. First of all, feel free to call me Bill, being that’s my name and all. Of course, you can also call me Wolfrum, Wolfman, Wolfie, Jerk, or pretty much anything else you like.

Each post in this series will contain one vital tidbit about myself. Eventually, I’m hoping these posts weave a tapestry of my heart. Yes, that’s it exactly. I’m hoping to present you with a Heart Tapestry. Or a Jerk Tapestry. Whatever, you be the judge. So without further ado:

Evander Holyfield: The perfect fighter for a nation in love with hypocrites

It is somewhat apropos that Evander Holyfield has managed to stick himself back into the limelight of boxing’s heavyweight division. In a time when hypocrisy is one of the nation’s greatest exports, it seems natural that Holyfield should be in the mix.

In an era where Dick Cheney pounds the desk with one hand while clutching his chest with the other as he questions the patriotism of any that oppose him – while being part of an administration that abuses wounded U.S. veterans by leaving them in mold-drenched, cockroach-infested hospital rooms – Holyfield is the prototype boxer. And in a world where Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich preach family values while divorcing their wives and having sordid affairs, Evander should thrive.

Holyfield has long been one of sports’ great hypocrites. Here’s a man who is widely admired and given endorsement deals for his warrior spirit and Christianity. And while Holyfield deserves respect for his accomplishments and his work inside the ring, his behavior has consistently been an embarrassment, albeit mostly ignored.

Gulf of Tonkin II…?

From the Guardian:

The Iranian navy has seized up to 15 British sailors, the Ministry of Defence confirmed today, sparking a diplomatic standoff between the UK and Iran.

Iran’s ambassador to the UK was immediately summoned to the foreign office for what the foreign secretary, Margaret Beckett, described as a “brisk” meeting.

He was “left in no doubt” that Britain expected the immediate return of the sailors and their boats, she said.

However, Iran’s government responded by summoning the British charge d’affaires to Tehran to protest at what it said was the illegal entry of British naval personnel into Iranian waters.

I find this more than a little frightening, when you consider that the Bush administration has been (1) lusting for months for an excuse to carpet-bomb Iran, (2) under increasing legal threat from Congress on Attorneygate, and (3) facing, for the first time since 2003, the possibility that Congress will reign in Bush’s imperial aspirations in the Middle East.

Also, something I read (can’t remember where) suggested that if Bush were going to start bombing Iran with no warning, he’d commence when the moon is either waxing or waning.

I hate to say it, but it’s currently a waxing crescent.

[Cross-posted.]

The Very Definition of “Grasping at Straws”

Oh, for the luvva crumb cake.

I think we can now officially state that Gonzo has jumped the shark. He’s circling the drain. He has expired, and gone to meet his maker. He’s a stiff. This is an Ex-Attorney General.

How do I know this? Because he’s shown his final card, and it ain’t the ace of spades. Yes, Gonzo refuses to resign, because he’s protecting the children.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced this morning: “I’m not going to resign. I’m going to stay focused on protecting our kids.” Speaking before a Project Safe Childhood event, Gonzales told reporters he plans “to go up to the Congress and provide further clarification” about the U.S. Attorney purge, and claimed that his department has been “tremendous in the area of public corruption.”

Please. “Won’t someone please think of the children?” has got to be one of the most overused, hackneyed, trite statements anyone can make. This is a blatantly obvious attempt to paint himself as a “good guy,” and every American should be insulted that he believes them to be this stupid. The job of the Attorney General is hardly focused on children alone. As stated at the Carpetbagger Report:

I strolled over to Wikipedia and found exactly what I was looking for: “The phrase “˜for the children,’ or similar phrases such as “˜think of the children,’ is an appeal to emotion and can be used to support an irrelevant conclusion (both logical fallacies) when used in an argument.”

There’s a reason this is such a cliche: it’s vapid and meaningless. Gonzales is going to stay on the job because he’s “focused on protecting our kids”? This may come as a surprise, but I’d hazard a guess that his replacement can focus on protecting our kids, too.

Honestly, could there be a weaker defense? Gonzales is at the center of a major scandal, he has few real allies, the public doesn’t trust him, and lawmakers from both parties want him to resign. According to some reports, the White House is already mulling over possible successors. But never mind all of that, Gonzales says, he’s “protecting our kids.” Please.

I suppose if Gonzales weren’t on the job, every single kid in this country would be dead right now. It’s the last gasp, folks. The next thing you’ll hear will be “I’m leaving to spend more time with my family.”

Then he’ll explode in a huge mushroom cloud of cliches.

A Virus With Shoes*

I’d like you all to take a moment and read this latest spewing by Michael Savage: Embarrassment to Humanity, which was so vile, it prompted Shakes to alert me to the story and say “I really do hate that absurd, horrible little man quite possibly more than is possible for me to accurately describe, but, were I to try, I would say that I loathe him with the red hot fiery passion of 10,000 suns.”

This could actually be the most repulsive things he’s ever said. And knowing Savage, that’s saying something.

From the March 20 edition of Talk Radio Network’s The Savage Nation:

SAVAGE: “San Francisco police are trying to determine whether the slaying of a transgender victim found naked near the Interstate 280 freeway is somehow linked to reports of a nude woman seen walking on the same freeway two hours later, authorities said. … [San Francisco police inspector Karen] Lynch said it appeared the victim had been in the process of becoming a woman.” Yeah, process of becoming a woman — psychopath, should have been in a back ward in a straitjacket for years, howling on major medication.

[…]

SAVAGE: And then they go into “she said transgender victims” going on and on “extremely violent” going on and on “are frequently left partially clothed or completely nude, it’s making a statement and humiliating the victim,” blah-blah-blah. I am so beyond fed up with freaks. I live in freak city. You know, I don’t mind freaks. I used to go to Ringling Brothers when I was a little kid, and the freak show was my favorite part of the circus. I didn’t go there to mock them. I liked to see the one-breasted man. I liked to see the mustached woman.

But when I wake up as an adult and I find out that they’re actually all Democrats today, passing themselves off as normal, I’m sorry, someone’s gotta say this is a freak show, time out. And what’s this sympathy, constant sympathy for sexually confused people? Why should we have constant sympathy for people who are freaks in every society? I didn’t say hurt the freaks. I didn’t say do anything to the freaks.

But you know what? You’re never gonna make me respect the freak. I don’t want to respect the freak. The freak ought to be glad that they’re allowed to walk around without begging for something. You know, I’m sick and tired of the whole country begging, bending over backwards for the junkie, the freak, the pervert, the illegal immigrant. All of them are better than everybody else. Sick. Everything is upside down.

So, according to Savage, trans people:

1. Are freakish, sick psychopaths in need of heavy medication and straightjackets.

2. Deserve no assistance or sympathy, even when they’re being killed.

3. Belong in a circus freak show.

And I’m sure the millions of listeners of his nationally syndicated ignorant hate fest show were nodding right along with him.

As many of you Shakers know, I’m going through graduate school. Recently, I was offered and I’m accepting a field placement at a local LGBTQ community health center. One of my main interests in study is minorities within minorities. Specifically, I want to be working with trans clients. Trans people are still very much misunderstood and often receive less sympathetic (or simply less) services; I hope to help combat this. When Savage and others spread and grow hate and ignorance like this in millions across the country, it needs to be fought by any means possible.

Of course, I’m no expert, so if any trans (or cisgendered) Shakers have suggestions for books or articles of which they think I should be aware (or that you really love), please feel free to leave suggestions in comments. I always appreciate recommendations!

*Thanks to Bill Hicks

God and Genes

If, as science is getting close to proving, that being gay is genetically encoded, that makes things rough for fundamentalist Christians.

As Harold Meyerson points out, it creates a conundrum: God creates gay people in the same way he creates straight people and being gay or straight is determined the moment the sperm enters the egg. But according to fundamentalist dogma, homosexuality itself is a sin — an imperfection — and therefore God has created a sinful, imperfect being. But God, being perfect and all-good, can’t do that. (But if God is all-powerful, he can do anything….) And this gay human being is therefore condemned to Hell for nothing that he did; he or she could live a good life, walking in the Light of God, yet doomed while the straight person who led the same life gets a free pass. As Meyerson says, “Indeed, it means that a gay person’s duty is to suppress his God-given instincts while a straight person’s duty is to fulfill his.”

It also brings up the question of what do fundamentalists do when they find out through in-utero testing that their child is gay? They don’t believe in abortion, so that’s out, and they don’t believe in genetic manipulation, so the fetus can’t be reprogrammed in the womb. They don’t believe in stem-cell research that could somehow lead to a “cure” for homosexuality. So they are bound by their faith and practice to bring a sinful child into the world. In their theology, are they damned for allowing this to happen?

This is what happens when reality and theology face off. As Galileo and many other scientists have found out, theology does not like it when science proves one of its superstitions to be false, and the theocrats do everything they can to destroy the bearer of such bad news — yet they are never capable of proving the science itself wrong. It also illustrates the folly in micromanaging theological interpretation down to the cellular level. All it does is create more paradoxes and conundrums, and for some, including a lot of Quakers, it gets in the way of a true spiritual journey. The devil, after all, is in the details.

The real problem for the fundies is that if science does find the genetic code for homosexuality, the professional gay-bashers like James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson will be relegated to the environs of the Flat Earth Society and they’ll have to find some other minority to ostracize.

Watch out, left-handers; you could be next.