Bring the Queen Her Crayons!

We want one.

Via Petulant.

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34 Comments

Filed under 01_shakespeares_sister

34 responses to “Bring the Queen Her Crayons!

  1. mustella

    What, you didn’t recieve it along with your Man Hating Feminist Indoctrination Kit as a toddler? It used to be standard issue! Damn budget cuts.

  2. No, I didn’t!

    And I never got my honorary dyke toaster, either. Harrumph.

  3. Why would someone want to toast dykes? I prefer them lightly breaded with a bit of bold BBQ sauce for dipping!

  4. …or maybe that was Vin Diesel I was thinking of. (He’s 40 today, btw.)

  5. (He’s 40 today, btw.)

    I just saw that. I thought he and I were about the same age; wouldn’t have figured him for 7 years older.

    I would say “He looks good,” but I think it’s really that I look like shit, lol. I won’t be too hard on myself, though, since I imagine most people look like shit in comparison to Vin Diesel!

  6. Well, if I want to look like Vin Diesel by the time I’m 40, I’ll need…a full body transplant, I think. Do they have those?

  7. Angelos

    Looks like someone needs labiaplasty

  8. Jess

    That’s the spirit, Angelos. Just because you’re hanging out at Shakesville doesn’t mean you can’t reinforce harmful feminine ideals. Don’t you let anyone keep you down!

  9. Funny, the thought that came to my mind, Angelos, was an old Heinlein quote (hey, not everyone who read him turned out to be a surly libertarin): “Have you noticed how much they look like orchids? Lovely!”

  10. Angelos

    I guess I should clarify I was just being sarcastic?

  11. I guess I should clarify I was just being sarcastic?

    LOL! You should really change your screen name to Angelos (I’m Being Sarcastic).

  12. Jess

    Angelos, thought you might have been, but figured that in that case a little retaliatory sarcasm wouldn’t hurt anything.

  13. I actually knew Tee. I have my signed edition of this coloring book somewhere in my dyke memorabilia closet.

    *rummaging in closet*

    Sorry ‘Liss, you only get the toaster for recruitment activities, but wait! Here, I found just the thing! An honorary dyke cuntish crayola pack (just pinks, reds, browns, siennas, etc.), and . . . . wait . . . /*moving stack of old Wemoon calendars*/. . . ah, here it is: A honorary dyke “Roast the Patriarchy” hot-dog rotisserie. Not a toaster, true, but it’s close, and we have to give it to the honoraries, because our flesh will wither if we touch weinies.

    Tee passed away last year. I’m glad to see her legacy living on.

  14. honorary dyke cuntish crayola pack

    LOL! Awesome.

  15. Jeff

    Ewwww….Teh front cover illustration is a little unsetteling…It looks more like something you could point to on a Chinese menu and get a free egg roll and an order pork fried rice on the side.

  16. r@d@r

    i thought it was a violation of the constitution of shakesville to break the line of separation between church and state by posting religious tracts of this nature. now if you must excuse me, i must retire for my afternoon prayers to sheila-na-gig…………

  17. Constant Comment

    Is this how Georgia O’Keeffe got her start?

  18. Kelley

    Hey, I didn’t get my honorary dyke toaster, either! Damnit! Can I have an honorary dyke coffee maker instead? Mine just bought the ranch.

    Oh, and I want that coloring book, too.

  19. Sarah

    In case those who say they want the book aren’t compulsive shoppers, it at least used to be in stock at http://www.grandopening.com-if not on the website, in the Brookline store.

  20. benjamin

    “When I was a boy in school I was graded down for failing to stay inside the lines. It’s still true today.”

    That joke is considered so offensive as to be censored? Please explain.

  21. “looks like something you could point to on a Chinese menu and get a free egg roll and an order pork fried rice on the side.”

    NOW you’re catching on, Jeff.

  22. katecontinued

    I’m suffering “Roast the Patriarchy” hot-dog rotisserie-envy as a staunch honorary dyke of decades.

  23. That joke is considered so offensive as to be censored? Please explain.

    It wasn’t–I’m sorry; I deleted it by accident!

  24. benjamin

    Melissa said: It wasn’t–I’m sorry; I deleted it by accident!

    Thanks, Melissa. I was really concerned my self-deprecating joke had crossed one of those “you guys just don’t get it” lines and I truly was wondering if I had gone off the rails. I’m one of your great fans.

  25. I truly was wondering if I had gone off the rails

    Not at all–I did, lol. 😉

  26. Katecontinued: “I’m suffering “Roast the Patriarchy” hot-dog rotisserie-envy as a staunch honorary dyke of decades.”

    /*rummaging in magical memorabilia closet*/

    Hang. On. Nope — damn! Sorry, Kate, that’s my last spare rotisserie — would you settle for a “Dip Me in Honey and Throw Me to Lesbians” tea cozy?

  27. smadin

    Sarah — Grand Opening closed down a few years ago, sadly. (Their website is still up, but the front page dates from 2003, and the online catalog it takes you to is http://www.sextoysex.com/ branded with a GO banner.) The good news is that Good Vibrations operates a store in the same location, now, and they probably carry the coloring book. It’s a shame not to have a locally-owned shop there anymore, but GV’s pretty good too.

  28. jesus, i haven’t seen that cover in ages. brings back memories. talk about your Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime.

  29. Portly! Do me! Do me!

    To be honest, though, I’m probably more of an honorary dyke wannabe than anything else – maybe a window decal?

  30. Liz

    DO WANT! 🙂

    I could also use the honorary dyke toaster, though the cunt crayons would make me clap my hands and bounce up and down with glee.

  31. OK, due to the high number of honorary dyke demands, I have had to confer with the Grand Council of Dykedom to renew my distribution license (I hope you appreciate all the trouble I go to — jeez!).

    For Jennifer, I hereby award the self-stick environmentally-friendly (made from Real Tofu!) window decal: “How do you KNOW I’m not a lesbian?”

    And for Liz, one (1) Cunty Crayola Set (I bought several hundred boxes of crayons in 1983, and gave all the non-cunt-related hues to a friend who was moving into a goth phase at the time, so I have plenty of these), and because she has the brazen balls-o-steel to move to Topeka, KS, I am handing over my personal Popeil “Phelps-O-Matic”, so she can slice and dice bigots in her local area.

  32. Liz

    Yay! Thanks, PD!

    I’m looking forward to counter-protesting WBC protests. Well, okay, “looking forward to” isn’t right, because the ideal would be for such a counter-protest not to have to happen in the first place, but there’s something to be said for being a voice of reason in the face of extreme wingnuttery and asshaberdashery.

  33. Liz

    Oh, and since I said I would: [claps hands and bounces up and down with glee]

  34. Thanks Portly!

    Hey, how come I see rainbows when I look out my window now?

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