I’m a heterosexual male, and as such, I like cleavage. I don’t know why, it may be hard-wired or something I picked up from the culture, but there’s no question that it’s one of the more pleasant sights in daily life.
That said, it’s not like I haven’t seen cleavage before, nor that I won’t see it again. It’s nice and all, but it’s not as if it creates some sort of vortex from which my eyes cannot be pulled. Indeed, I’m quite capable of ignoring cleavage and actually addressing the woman attached to it as if she is more important than it is. And certainly I’m able to operate, say, motorized vehicles and heavy machinery within 100 yards of cleavage.
Which is more than I can say for a German bus driver in Lindau:
A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.
“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. “He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.'”
Now, let’s look at this rationally.
On the one hand, one can be distracted by cleavage, if one is a straight man or (I assume) a gay woman.
On the other hand, what in the wide world of sports is this guy talking about? Seeing cleavage in his mirror is too much for him to handle? Too distracting for him to deal with? What’s he doing driving a bus? Yeah, it’s nice and all, but come on, man, focus!
And if you can’t focus, here’s a thought: how ’bout not shaming the woman? Because, you know, it’s not her fault that you can’t deal with your hormones well enough to drive a bus safely. This is something you should have dealt with back when you were fourteen, man.
Look, humans can be sexually attracted to each other. This isn’t a bad thing, on the whole. But whether you’re a girl attracted to a toned, lean, attractive fellow with a swimmer’s build and deep dark eyes, or a guy attracted to a woman with just the right color hair and a feisty personality, or a guy attracted to the former, or a woman attracted to the latter, you have to be able to get through an initial infatuation and, you know, deal with another human being like they’re, you know, human beings. Like they’re more important as people than as things. And that you have enough control of yourself to deal with someone else without drooling.
This news brought to you, of course, by Reuters’ “Oddly Enough” segment. “Oddly Enough”: Stories About Women, Because Bitchez is Weird.