Question of the Day

Suggested by Fritz: Have you ever walked out of a movie?

I’ve walked out of two movies, and both of them were Meryl Streep films, which is nutz, because she’s one of my all-time favorite actors: She-Devil, in which she starred with Roseanne, whom I like, and Death Becomes Her, in which she starred with Goldie Hawn, whom I also like.

But those were serious stinkers. Or, at least I thought so when I was 15 and 18, respectively.

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139 Comments

Filed under 01_shakespeares_sister

139 responses to “Question of the Day

  1. Natasha F. (but not Fatale)

    One of the Batman movies from the late 90’s, Batman and Robin. It had Arnold Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman as the baddies. Now I’m a big comic book movie geek, and I love Batgirl, so I was hoping it would be a big cheesy pot of goofy goodness, and it was instead a sucky pot of moldy, nonsensical, stale cheeze-whiz. It’s really bad when you go in with low expectations and they STILL can’t hit that mark.

  2. Natasha F. (but not Fatale)

    Batman and Robin, from the late 90’s. I was expecting a bad movie full of cheesy fun of which we could make mock, but it wasn’t even that good.

    I also wanted to walk out of Natural Born Killers when they got to the snakes in the desert scene, but I was too freaked out to do anything but rock back and forth whimpering. Yeah, that was a high point.

  3. Angelos

    No, but I don’t to enough movies as it is, and I’m very selective.

    I have stopped rentals though.

    “Funny Ha Ha” most recently.

  4. I hated Death Becomes Her.

    I’ve never walked out of a movie. I returned Babe: Pig in the City without watching most of it. We (my son and I) found it disturbing and creepy and it was freaking him out.

    There was a movie called Smithereens (by the filmmaker who next made Desperately Seeking Susan) that got great reviews. It stunk stunk STUNK. My sister and I kept whispering to each other:

    “Should we walk out?”
    “No, it’s GOT to get better, right?”

    And we did that until the credits rolled, and then we were mad at ourselves for not walking out.

  5. I walked out of “A Pirate Movie” when I was a teenager, and I sat through some pretty dumb movies as a kid.

  6. “The Hills Have Eyes.” I didn’t know about the rape scene ahead of time, and I nearly vomited. What a terrible, horrible, awful movie.

  7. tharine

    i walked out on deuces wild and the musketeer.

    so very very bad.

    and i have a high tolerance for bad movies.
    hell, i OWN van helsing. 😀

  8. My partner and I walked out of Sin City. Dear everyone in the world (or at least in my town), if you are going to rave about a movie and insist that I’ll “love” it, you might want to mention the gratuitous ultra-violence and torture kthx.

  9. Paul the Spud

    I loved Death Becomes Her. You may all hate me now. 😉

    I’ve never walked out of a movie. Just call me a glutton for punishment.

  10. Damn! You were 18 when Death Becomes Her was in theatres? You are a young ‘un, or else time is slipping by faster than I can fathom. I haven’t been to a movie in years and it was probably in the 80s when I walked out of one. I think it was Tex with Matt Dillon.

    On a more recent note, I shut off a DVD after about 10 minutes two years ago when we started watching Too Young to Die with Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis. I guess that counts as “walking out.” One of my co-workers gave me the DVD and I still have it, so if anyone thinks I need to reconsider, speak up.

  11. I have never walked out of a movie, but I have walked out of truly bad plays. Though was always difficult to convince my girlfriend at the time that we should leave.

  12. Oh this is funny, when I was in my pre-teens, my parents, who were very conservative, and my mother in particular who HATES anything Hollywood, took me off to our local small town theatre to see Plaza Suite. I was 11 I guess since it came out in 1971. My parents got up and walked out and of course I had to follow.

    What’s really funny is that they took me to see Bonnie & Clyde in 1967 when I would have been only 7. I wanted to see the film and I guess they thought it would be historically educational for me.

    Whoa! They wanted to walk out but I think they were so horrified they couldn’t move. I was of course riveted.

  13. Susan

    I’m extremely picky about the movies I watch, although I’m a very devoted fan. I’ve walked out a couple of times:
    “Jurassic Park.” I left at the part where the goat is put out for bait for a creature. Fuck you, Spielberg.
    “The Borrowers.” I loved the books when I was growing up, but the movie is horrible. When Jim Broadbent and Hugh Laurie are the stars and the movie is bad, you wonder why you were born. I went down the multiplex hall and into another showing of “Titanic” for the 6th time. (Shut up. I know, I know, but I really love that movie).

  14. tharine

    sweet machine-

    i dig sin city myself, but you’re right- a warning would have been appropriate!

  15. Dr. Loveless

    In my entire filmgoing life (close to 40 years) I have walked out only twice:

    1) Pretty Woman. No explanation necessary.

    2) Reality Bites. It had been heavily marketed as a “Gen X” movie, so I was queasy about it going in — but it lived up to the hype. In fact, it was so obviously test-marketed for a Gen X audience that I, a Gen Xer who is allergic to marketing, became ill less than 10 minutes in and had to leave the theater. Years later, I put it in my Netflix queue and try to watch it again, but had to shut it off before the end. Not even Janeane Garofalo could save it for me.

    There are others too numerous to count that I wish I had walked out on, of course. Also, once I’d seen Return of the Jedi for the first time, upon subsequent viewings I had to flee to the lobby whenever the Ewoks were onscreen.

  16. Rachel

    You and me both, Deborah. That movie was brutal.

    I also left my boyfriend in There’s Something About Mary. I don’t know why I disliked, it, I just did. I played video games int he lobby until it was over.

  17. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within: Mostly because the friend I was with wanted to. The movie was sort of dull, and I wasn’t that impressed with the CGI, but it drove my friend batshit. I rented the movie a few years later. It was okay.

    Tomb Raider: At the ten minute mark, Jolie takes a shower. It’s been a non-stop barrage of exploitation-without-the-nudity shots–the director wanted to be very sure I remembered that Jolie had a crotch, an ass, and (subtly enhanced) boobs–and I realized that not only was she never actually going to get naked, but this crap was the best the movie had to offer. Look, if you’re gonna do cocktease stuff, either give me a movie that’s actually fun to watch on its own, or give me nudity. Tomb Raider had neither.

  18. I walked out of Dumb and Dumber when I was in high school. My girlfriend and I loved dumb movies, but we just couldn’t laugh at that one. Unoriginal.

    And Brotherhood of the Wolf. Good. ness. I’ve never seen a worse film. The plot was all screwy, there was no consistent main character, nobody was remotely likable, and the wolf was only scary until we saw it.

  19. ECB

    Heights! That movie truly was a stinker. When Glenn Close gave her speech about ACT-ING! in the opening scene, I thought it was a parody–I really expected it to turn into a commercial for Coke or something. I wanted to walk out right away, but it took my friend an hour to be convinced. Blech!

  20. I’m with bluestockingsrs; I’ve never walked out of a film that I can remember, but I have left plays at intermission. The first one was when I was in high school and Dame Judith Anderson was touring the country in Hamlet. No, she wasn’t playing Gertrude or Ophelia; she was actually playing The Prince of Denmark. Bizarre.

    I also walked out on a production of Equus. I’ve always thought the play was a pretentious piece of crap, but when the boy mimed getting naked and did not, I left. What the hell is the point if he doesn’t? It defeats the entire point of the play.

  21. I haven’t, mostly because 1) i rarely go to the movie theater (being extremely crowd-phobic), and 2) if i think it’s good enough to merit a trip to the big screen, i’m gonna get my money’s worth. Even if it turns out to be a ripe mess, i’ll stay for no other reason than i paid for it and damnit, those tickets aren’t cheap these days.

    My dad and stepmum will gladly walk out of a movie or other theater performance (at intermission for the latter) if they’re not enjoying the experience. My dad walked out of the first movie of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and my dad and stepmum walked out at intermission of the musical The Lion King. Once, when we were watching a movie at their house (Shopgirl), my dad was so irritated by the characters that he started doing Sudoku instead. lol.

  22. Allie

    I had to leave Ghostbusters because it was too scary. (I think I was in 1st or 2nd grade) The scene when they cut the containment system and all the ghosts are released was way too much. Waited in the lobby for my brother & dad to finish it.

    More recently, I walked out of The Messenger. I had been sooooo excited for that movie because of the previews (I love Joan of Arc history). But the intro sequence where her sister is pinned to the wall with a sword through her stomach and then RAPED while still alive kinda turned me off the whole thing. Awful, awful, awful to watch, in addition to being historically inaccurate.

  23. hk

    I’ve never walked out of a movie theater in the middle of a movie, but I see 95% of movies in my own home. At home hubby and I were watching Nacho Libre, which was just awful and I just decided to fall asleep. And I sat through a large portion of the first prequel of star wars at a friends house, but damn it was really awful, I really wanted to leave.

  24. Yes, two. I walked out of “A Clockwork Orange” — at the beginning, just before the rape scene. And I walked out of The Godfather at the scene with the horse’s head.

  25. Oh, and when i was very small, my parents took me to see Disney’s Snow White in the theater. They were very tempted to walk out because at one point i was literally shaking in fear.

  26. Ginger Yellow

    I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a movie. There’s something wrong about doing that. The closest I came was during Attack of the Clones, but I just fell asleep instead. Apparently I didn’t miss anything.

  27. I have hit Stop on rentals, but never walked out of a movie. I have always wanted to get up after the coming attractions, put on my coat and walk out. I figure that would raise a few eyebrows, but I have never done it.

  28. Betsy

    I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a movie. There’s something wrong about doing that.

    why? it’s not like in a performance, where the performer(s) could know and take offense.

    The only movie I recall walking out of was American Pie. I’d just given blood and was feeling light headed, and since I cringe at embarrassment-humor, that movie was just too much and too stupid for me.

  29. DBK

    Quite a few, but the first was Barry Lyndon, many long years ago. Yawn. It was very beautiful but I couldn’t spend hours watching the same oil painting.

    The second was The Serpent’s Egg. Folks, The Serpent’s Egg is not a good date film. Let’s just say it is less than life-affirming.

  30. I walked out at the end of “Brave-Heart” (no interest in watching a dis-embowelment), and walked out after 10 minutes of “Star Wars: Attack of the Clones” because, well, it was just BAD.

    OT a bit, but here’s a movie story. I was in a showing of “Higher Learning” in 1995. The audience seemed pretty much with the whole oppression theme — UNTIL — the lesbian kiss, which drew audible “Oh, gross!”es, and groans, and retching noises from the urban, racially mixed crowd.

    I was at the back of the darkened theater, and said, calmy, and just loud enough for everyone to hear: “I’m a lesbian.”

    The theater of 200 people fell into absolute silence.

    It was very satisfying, and though I felt like walking out, I didn’t. The woman to my right fidgeted the entire rest of the movie.

  31. ***NEWS FLASH***

    What happens when [s}lettuce absorbs a cilantro smell[/s] a sperm meets an egg?

    That I asked txrad. To which he replied, “it breaks open the cell wall..”

    I interrupted, “The egg cell wall?”

    He continued, “Yes the egg. It gets in there and replicates.”

    konagod was thinking.. and then spoke, “and it ultimately turns into me?

    LOOK! A living drunkard. What a wasted effort it was to break down that egg cell wall, you little jizm from my daddy’s schlong.

    I almost sound like I’m delivering a spewage ceremony towards W himself.

  32. Kathy, did you ever finish watching A Clockwork Orange? If not, I’m going to point my wicked witch finger at you disapprovingly.

  33. fuck, never take html instructions from a JackGoff.

    and never attempt to use them after [8/] [9/], 10 shots of tequila.

  34. Rene ala Carte

    Came close to walking out on Reservoir Dogs when Michael Madsen was going to cut the cop’s ears off, but in all it was good enough.

    I did fall asleep after about 15 minutes of Schreck.

  35. Konagod, sometimes your comments make absolutely no sense?

    Anyway. I’ve never walked out of a movie, but the closest I came to it was with The Hulk. I was with my friend and her family in the middle of Wisconsin, though, and I hadn’t driven, so I couldn’t do that. GOD, what a boring movie.

    The only other movie that comes to mind is Meet The Parents, of which my own parents and I could only watch about fifteen minutes. Blah.

  36. Erique, my ex, who is normally a very intelligent guy, rented Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was so bad, he lay down and went to sleep, and I got up and cleaned the bathroom.

    I can’t stand pointless violence, I don’t think Angelina Jolie is such hot shit, and seriously, a husband and wife shooting up their house “trying” to kill each other? A millimeter to the left and Brad Pitt’s bleeding from the spleen with his entrails all over the place, and suddenly it’s not fun and games anymore!

    Yes, I took that movie VERY seriously. No, but really, the acting was terrible. Ooh, we have an underground lair of hot chicks who direct assassins! Gag me.

  37. Lord, if I wasn’t so fucked up, I’d have Buffy St. Marie on, and she’d be screamin’

  38. anarkallisti

    I’ve never walked out of a movie, but I should have walked out of Rise. It was one of the most frustrating movies I’ve ever seen. Completely lacking in catharsis.

  39. I also laughed out loud at the absurdity of What the Bleep Do We Know?, although luckily those dummies didn’t get any of my money; someone else rented it.

    Same with The DaVinvi Code, which I definitely would have walked out on, had I seen it in the theater. Bo-ring!

  40. Angelos

    sometimes kona doesn’t make sense?

  41. Batman and Robin

    I’ve blanked out the thirty minutes I spent in that theater. I forgive the actors, but someone has to be blamed for that travesty, and the Joel Schumacher isn’t worth blaming for anything, so…

  42. konagod: the movie

    coming soon to a theatre youtube near you.

    Feel free…

    to walk out.

    You gotta do what you gotta do. And the old man says, “that’s OK, I’ll stand.”

  43. sometimes kona doesn’t make sense?

    Well, more like sometimes sense isn’t necessary.

  44. I love talking about bad movies. Speaking of which, has anyone else seen Aaron Russo’s tax evasion documentary America: From Freedom to Fascism? Comedic gold, that. Saw it on TV last night, posted about it today at my blog.

    Basically the guy claims that the federal income tax is unconstitutional, and there are no laws saying you have to pay it, so you don’t have to pay it. Which is, like, incorrect and stuff. He doesn’t seem to be affected by this fact.

  45. Anybody remember the 1987 stinker Lionheart? No, I don’t mean the 1990 Van Damme travesty of the same name, but the Eric Stoltz one that had a sword & sorcery advertising vibe that totally misrepresented the actual film, loosely based on the historically true tale of the “Children’s Crusade” of 1212 A.D.

    I never saw the end. I haven’t seen it in 20 years, but I remember something about a sword-wielding dwarf and some children running through a medieval sewer happening right around the time I just got up and left.

  46. I walked in and out (I was socializing to make the trip to the theater worthwhile) on my “worst of all time,” Next of Kin, with Patrick Swayze.

    Hey, it was a small town, the only thing playing on the one screen and it was a boring afternoon.

    I did, however, just watch the worst movie since NOK, for free as a NetFlix trial. Ghost Rider was so bad that it made Nick Cage look like an actor who could only aspire to Swayze’s level of mastery.

    *shudder

  47. Howard The Duck. Only movie I have bailed on.

  48. puellasolis

    Never walked out on anything, play or movie, but definitely quit in the middle of watching something at home. Most recently: Night Watch.

  49. KT — it took me a while to understand kona, too — then I hit upon it.

    Every post is a zen koan . . . . to music. Guess what’s on the sound system at kona’s house, and you will gain understanding, grasshopper.

  50. “Every post is a zen koan .”

    Or should I have said “Zen Kona”?

  51. OK, here’a a line for all the happily fat chicks out there, and actually I just did this myself…

    “I’m gonna use the rest of them tater tots to mop up the excess ketchup on my plate. I’m all environmentally green and shit. Waste not, want not.”

  52. Creating evolution is as important as being a part of it. Plant a seed. Then plant the seed from what was most impressive to you. Repeat as necessary for personal satisfaction.

    Then do a shot and hope for the best. Just pray it’s not random. Because if it is, aren’t we wasting a shitload of time?

  53. konazen, and don’t enter the room without immediately wrapping your portly bosoms around me!

  54. Kona — the bosoms are entirely enfolding you now.

  55. Constant Comment

    The only movie I’ve ever walked out on was “Star Wars” and never bothered to see any of the sequels or prequels, whichever the case may be…

  56. sundry

    Grease.

    twice.

  57. Parker

    Twice, and both were bad comedies.

    One was “Superstar” and the other was “The Adventures of Joe Dirt.”

    Oddly enough, both were related somewhat to Saturday Night Live. I never realized that until just now.

  58. KT- I am glad there is someone else out there who didn’t like Meet the Parents, everyone else I know thinks it is such a great movie

  59. KyCole

    My parents made me walk out of The Music Man. I guess it was necessary since my younger brother had just thrown up. It took me a long time to forgive him for that one.

  60. nainam

    I walked out of “Apollo 13” long before the in-space action began.

    Could not handle (as a former Navy wife) the introductory scenes showing how women dressed and acted during those days.

    It literally made me sick to my stomach to see the former me.

    However, I adore Tom Hanks and have cheerfully sat through every other move he was in.

  61. Time Bandits and Austin Powers

  62. oddjob

    I can’t recall that I ever have, but I’m pretty picky about what I’ll see so I do a lot of screening out before I find a movie I’m likely to want to see.

  63. Angelos

    Time Bandits!?!!?!?!?!?

    Fucking freak…

  64. Da Vinci Code – worst adaptation ever. I actually sat through Pearl Harbour but I miss those three house of my life

  65. ananke

    Walked out of Prizzi’s Honor. Would have walked out on the two Melissa mentioned, but knew from the trailers I wouldn’t like them. And even though I like Meryl Streep as an actress, I still wish I’d walked out of Adaptation. I despise storytellers who can’t figure out what to do with a character at the end, so they kill them off in a gruesome and pointless manner.

  66. My friends and I turned off Serenity after 5 minutes because it looked too much like a Sci-Fi Original Movie, and that’s the only memory I have of deciding not to finish a movie, as a cinematically obsessed film major with a love for everything under the celluloid sun. I really can’t say why I love Hard Cash and could tolerate Bloodrayne yet abandoned Serenity, but I did. And I’m not ashamed, though I am ashamed it was substituted with Transporter 2, a truly worthless film.

  67. You liked Time Bandits, Angelos? Honestly, I can’t even remember anything about it other than time traveling midgets, I was just a kid. But nothing I remember makes me want to try and rewatch it.

  68. bluefish A

    i was hanging out with four friends on the fourth and we went to see “transformers.” at about the hour mark, my bf was all, “i kinda want to leave” and his friend sitting next to me was all, “do you think we should leave?” they seemed undecided, the movie was offensively bad so i was all, “i’m gonna go play video games in the lobby until the movie is over. if y’all wanna leave, meet me there.”
    i got about halfway through a round of tekken before they met me in the lobby.
    i can now officially say that michael bay took a fond childhood memory of mine and crapped all over it.

  69. mamajane

    I absolutely refuse to go see most “blockbuster” movies, avoiding the inevitable walkouts. I fell asleep in the theater watching Judge Dredd. I knew that it would be bad, but my bff at the time won tickets to a midnight movie premiere party and talked me into going. Oddly enough, I won the door prize that night, which was a beautifully framed original Judge Dredd movie poster. I threw out that poster, and used the frame for a John Waterhouse print. I did walk out of Waterworld, tried to give it a shot at hubby-poo’s behest, but didn’t have the stomach to stay til the end.

    I have stopped a lot of videos and dvds. I was already having a tough time hanging in through Trainspotting, (too close to home, a lifelong friend had become a heroin addict, learned much more than I bargained for) then the baby scene put me completely over the edge, I ran to the loo and lost my dinner immediately, and never finished watching it.

  70. Doktor Wankenstein

    Just checked with the Missus — a loooonnng time ago, we did walk out of a movie, but neither of us can remember what it was.

    Must’ve been pretty impressive, huh?

  71. I know there was one back in the early 80’s, but I’ve blanked even the name from my memory. I wanted desperately to walk out of Twister, as did my date, but we were on a double-date and the other couple was loving it.

    I quit going to (movie) theaters nine years ago – and as far as live theater – as an actor and techie, I can always find something worthwhile, even in the worst performance. Often it’s the entire train wreck going on onstage. 😎

  72. …Still don’t get it.

    Also, by some of the comments here, I’m dang glad I didn’t pay good moneys to see The Da Vinci Code. But, I got over the book long ago, after the initial “OMG THIS IS GENIUS” phase. What was I THINKING.

  73. aargh! never mind. (eyes wide open – in shock)

  74. PD, I’ve forgotten the code!

  75. Rin

    I walked out of Daredevil, which I was seeing for free. When it got to the hour mark and I hadn’t found a plot yet, I was done.

  76. Shiloruh

    The only movie I actually left the theatre during was Halloween III. The one and only slasher flick I ever almost watched. It bothered me so much that so many folks paid money to see this and seemed to enjoy it. What is wrong with our culture!?
    I fell asleep during Troy which I rented and returned it unwatched.
    So many people told me Something About Mary was the funniest movie ever and I watched it the other night and it fell completely flat for me.

  77. t87

    The Saint – the one with Val Kilmer.

  78. I think it was Tex with Matt Dillon.

    That was the very first movie I saw when my parents finally got cable in 1985. It was playing on HBO, and I had a crush on young Matt Dillon. I watched it with the sound off.

    Time Bandits and Austin Powers

    Austin Powers I can understand – but Time Bandits is an outstanding movie. Watch it again, there is definitely more going on than time-traveling midgets.

    The only movie I’ve ever walked out on was an art film called In The Realm of the Senses – basically, it was a porn film with a plot. I just got more and more disturbed as the main couple got more and more obsessed with other, and I found it so disturbing that I had to leave. I felt like I was violating their privacy.

    Re: plays – I’ve never walked out of a play, but that’s because the crappy amateur plays I’ve seen have featured friends of mine in the performance, and the crappy professional plays I’ve seen were too expensive. But my mother walked out of a production of Into The Woods I did, because she thought it was over. Or so she says.

  79. Angelos

    I thought it was a blast as a kid, and there were some great one-liners I discovered for the first time when I saw it in college that flew over my head when I was younger.

    I like all of Terry Gilliam’s movies. Of course I didn’t know who that was when I saw it the first time.

    Funny thing about DaVinci Code.

    I enjoyed that book, and his others, for what they were. I never went through the “genius” phase, I just thought they were great, fast-moving adventure trifles. The equivalent of a totally fun B-movie.

    I was soooo looking forward to the movie. And then it got shit on, and I was disappointed. I didn’t drop the 30 bucks on theater trip.

    A few months later, I found out my brother bought the DVD! What? I thought it sucked? So we watched it. I agreed with the major critical complaints – there was absolutely zero chemistry between the protagonists in terms of the love-interest thing, and their individual performances were flat too. I blame Ron Howard.

    Anyway, my brother was right. If you can get past that, it’s a decent little adventure. I thought Bettany was decent as the albino, Reno is always charismatic even though he pretty much plays every role the same way (and hasn’t aged at all since “Nikita” which is disconcerting), McKellen was a good professor, and Molina was good as the bishop.

  80. Halloween III’s not a slasher- and most audiences hated it as a result (the plot followed a madman’s evil scheme to use stonehenge to wipe out children, and had nothing to do with the first two). I imagine they paid money to see it because of Tom Atkins, though.

  81. Oh, one time my friend Rachel and I walked out of two different movies – the first one was Top Gun, the second was Jumping Jack Flash.

  82. I watched “Twister” on an airplane. Bad idea.

    I also watched “Six Days, Seven Nights” on an airplane. Even worse idea.

    Never, ever watch an in-flight movie where things are falling out of the sky, or planes are crashing.

    It’s simply not a good idea.

  83. Every post is a zen koan . . . . to music

    In the same sense that every time somebody whacks you over the head with a large stick, they’re trying to enlighten you.

    Personally, I think Kona’s consumption of alcohol has a lot to do with the timing and,um, intensity of his posts, just as insomnia and lack of sleep has a lot to do with mine.

  84. Phydeaux — NEVER, EVER! forget TEH CODE!

    For those of you scrambling for wordpress emoticons in general, link above.

    For Phydeaux, just cuz it wuz his birfday yesterday:

    8 0
    Remove all spaces
    80

  85. Oh fer fuck’s sake — Phoenician, I’m stone cold sober right now — what do you think is accounting for my intensity and timing?

    Phyd: It’s Numeral 8 and Letter “Oh” — thusly:

    😯

  86. rrp

    I walked out of Godfather III. I think it was one of those marathon things in a tiny theater. Bored out of my mind.

    There are a ton of airplane movies I’d have walked out of, if there were anywhere to go. That one with Samuel L. Jackson being the uplifting coach? Dreck.

  87. Oh fer fuck’s sake — Phoenician, I’m stone cold sober right now — what do you think is accounting for my intensity and timing?

    I was talking about Kona. You, I suspect strongly, share some of my problems.

  88. I recently rented “Because I Said So” starring my beloved Diane Keaton. It was so awful, I had to turn it off. I did go back to several hours later to see if I could finish it. But, alas, I could not.

    Annie Hall: So you wanna go into the movie or what?
    Alvy Singer: No, I can’t go into a movie that’s already started, because I’m anal.
    Annie Hall: That’s a polite word for what you are.

  89. oddjob

    I was at the back of the darkened theater, and said, calmy, and just loud enough for everyone to hear: “I’m a lesbian.”

    The theater of 200 people fell into absolute silence.

    It was very satisfying, and though I felt like walking out, I didn’t. The woman to my right fidgeted the entire rest of the movie.

    LOCK

    AND

    LOAD! 🙂

  90. Fritz

    I’m surprised more of you haven’t walked out — there have been so many stinkers over the last few years. I walked out on:

    Too Wong Foo (I couldn’t stomach Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayzee in drag)

    Catwoman (I left during the disco scene)

    Glitter (My friend and I got free tickets to a screening and we left when people started booing)

    Red Sonja (One of the worst films ever. I walked out after 10 minutes)

    Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (Robert DeNiro as the monster and it still stunk)

    Those are the most memorable ones.

  91. This is interesting, but I am having the best time watching a gecko just outside my window having quite a feast. And, he is sans tail. Lucky little bastard got away from something today!

  92. Phoenician —“I was talking about Kona. You, I suspect strongly, share some of my problems.”

    😆

    Actually, no insomnia, or lack of sleep — just different sleep patterns from most (and a different time zone) — but I am currently attending meetings of “OnAndOnAnon”, which I suspect is the greater “problem” in my case.

    I welcome one and all to invite me to have a great big cup of STFU anytime I become tiresome. I won’t be offended at all — truly. My feelings are very hard to hurt, as they’ve already been hurt in ways that you can not probably imagine.

    Thanks, oddjob, for noticing that comment. It was an incredibly powerfully moment for me — just a few seconds that utterly changed my life.

  93. oddjob

    But my mother walked out of a production of Into The Woods I did, because she thought it was over. Or so she says.

    Presumably she left at intermission??? If so, she missed the best part!!

  94. oddjob

    Oh, I slept through nearly all of Talladega Nights. However, I was in a big sleep deficit that evening. Even so, in retrospect I’ve definitely decided that regardless of however genius he may be Will Farrell’s brand of humor doesn’t do it for me. I can see how it would for others, but it doesn’t work for me.

  95. oddjob

    Thanks Angelos, I saw Davinci Code in the theater and felt pretty much the same way (of course, the fact that the goddess concept intrigues me helped a bit). I highly respect both Tautou and Hanks as actors, but agree that they didn’t have any chemistry to speak of. McKellen was wonderful, but isn’t he always?

  96. Presumably she left at intermission??? If so, she missed the best part!!

    I know!

    Although we did perform in an un-air conditioned theater in August. It was more like Into the Jungle.

  97. CJ_in_VA

    I tried to make it through Pet Sematary and had to leave. It was bad and there was a scene that completely grossed me out. I’m one of those people who kept thinking, “Come on, every Stephen King novel made into a movie can’t be a complete stinker… let’s go see it and decide for ourselves.” Mistake.

    We also walked out of a movie called “Q”. Just to give you a a sense of the plot, here are the IMDB keywords: decapitation, giant monster, human sacrifice, detective, police. Enough said.

  98. jahf

    I have walked out of a movie only twice, not because the movies in question sucked, but becuase on both occasions there was someone in the theater who decided to talk on their cell phone in their best fuck-all-you-the-movie-goers voices. I made sure to get a pass for future showing.

    I’m surprised that, after 83 comments so far, no one has yet mentioned it.

  99. Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

    I just thought it sucked. I didn’t go and see it, but I’m pretty sure that I would have walked out of the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre.

  100. jahf, that’s why I haven’t been in a movie theater in nine years.

  101. metalsguy

    The Island. I didn’t see it in the theater, but on TiVo, I didn’t even bother with it after the first hour.

    I did nearly walk out of Star Wars II, so I fell asleep instead, since my date wanted to see it.

  102. usually i don’t walk out, but the problem with me and bad movies is that i have always relied on sarcasm as my body’s natural defense against stupid which means that sometimes after my second or third episode of blurting out better dialogue or laughing at an inappropriate time my friends will sniff the wind and walk me out.

    the most notable was at The Scorpion King starring that Rock dude. At one point I wanted to know if the credits included something like an equity or other contract waiver along the lines of “The Rock appears by special arrangement with Eli Lilly Pharmacuticals” then when he delivered the line “I came for the girl (3 beat pause) and your Head!” with a straight face i fell into howling laughter. my date was trying to get me to calm it down and lower the volume of my hysterics by saying things like “be quiet, there are wrestling fans here.” which, of course, made me laugh even harder while trying to get them to tell me the betting line on wrestlemania.

  103. amish451

    Zen Kona ..What’s spinning on the sound system at the moment …and what a catalog ….
    I seldom if ever see a film solo…and I don’t recall having the “shall we leave” discussion … Will Ferrell/humorous ….Nah, I don’t think so, mayhaps pathetic …

  104. jahf — a local theater (that shows many indies as first-run) begins every show with a smart, intimate intro read aloud by the concierge at the front of the theater, and a reminder for everyone to turn their cell-phones off.

    If you talked on a cell-phone there, a hundred or so townies would rip you a new one in person.

    *sigh* *bliss* and that’s why I love:
    The Rose

    A number of small local theaters in Portland, OR kept up this tradition, too. Fuck cineplexes!

  105. my best line from watching the da vinci code came when i mentioned that the hardest swashbuckling motherfuckers at any college i ever went to were all in the art history department, followed of course by a fit of giggles.

  106. Angelos

    McKellen was wonderful, but isn’t he always?

    Yes.

    Actually, my favorite thing ever was when he was on Kilborne a couple years ago. One of Kilborne’s bits at the time was having actors “theatricalize” mundane everyday moments. McKellen got “changing a tire.”

    He read the instructions that come with a standard car jack in the most hammed-up, over-the-top Shakespearean way you could imagine. It was utterly brilliant. Kilborne was pissing himself, the crowd was going nuts, and my brother and I almost had seizures laughing.

    And yes also to the goddess concept. I find the DVC story just as plausible as any other story. Of course there was a guy named Jesus a couple thousand years ago. And we was a great street philosopher. I’m sure he got laid, too.

  107. Angelos

    MB, I do the same.

    When my brother and I saw one of the Star Wars prequels, there was one line in particular (I know, I know, the dialogue in all three of them was horrible), when some shapeshifter Obi-Wan and Annakin were chasing got killed before she fessed up who she was working for. Obi-Wan pulls the dart out of her neck, holds it up, studies it for a couple seconds, and says… “Toxic dart.”

    We lost our shit.

    At one point the difficulty we had in suppressing the giggles became funnier than the original cause of said giggles.

    Oh MAN the dirty looks we got from all the SW geeks, who were all so offended we were laughing at the genius of George Lucas.

    One of my fondest movie-going memories.

  108. Hippodameia

    I would have walked out of Quills if there hadn’t been so many people on either side of me.

    I also walked out of a free showing of “The Nutty Professor” when I was eight.

  109. Marc

    I’ve never walked out for artistic reasons. However, I had to leave a showing of the WILLARD remake. Something went wrong with the theatre’s sound system, so that instead of annoying theatre music, it played the first fifteen seconds of an Orville Redenbacher ad over and over and over. This somehow triggered what I guess was a panic attack, and I ran out of the theatre to find someplace in the multiplex the PA didn’t reach: there was none. I ran out of the theatre to my car, where I was sobbing and shaking for about half an hour.

    I’ve done the home-video equivalent of ejecting the tape prematurely to THE 37 RONIN, the world’s slowest Samurai movie.

    By the end of the first two hours (the halfway point) the Samurai have take up residence in a tea house where they disburse their master’s wealth in excrutiating detail.

  110. Jay in Oregon

    The closest I came to walking out of a movie was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II in college; by the time of the scene where the Turtles rap with Vanilla Ice, I had had enough; too bad it was at the end of the movie.

    I have stopped watching several movies on VHS or DVD, though; most of the names escape me, but when I was in high school I watched only half of cheap-horror-crapfest The Ghoulies, a Gremlins knock-off with none of the charm.

  111. Jay in Oregon

    Angelos:

    You’re referring to the second prequel, Attack of the Clones. That one was a stinker, and anyone who says otherwise is seriously deluded.

    The romantic scenes that were supposed to be the heart of the movie were bad, bad, bad. My friend’s 15-year-old son can set us all laughting by reciting the insipid “I hate sand. It gets everywhere…” nonsense.

  112. Angelos

    Yeah Jay, I figured that was the one. That rolling in the hayfield scene, talking about love and government and whatever other nonsense came up, that was brutal. So bad we couldn’t even laugh.

    Toxic Dart, though, I have a huge shit-eating grin on right now, just thinking about it.

  113. SAP

    Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. I got talked into going with my family, and I spent the second half of the movie playing video games in the lobby.

  114. Only one. Something with Ben Affleck…Sum of All Fears? Something like that.

  115. jahf

    Only one. Something with Ben Affleck…Sum of All Fears? Something like that.

    Not Gigli?

  116. Dan

    I dont understand….
    “Jurassic Park. I left at the part where the goat is put out for bait for a creature. Fuck you, Spielberg” …but I do understand Howard the Duck. I was in high school and I think we watched 10 min and walked out.

    I wish I walked out on Return of the King about a half hour before it mercifully ended. If I had to look at Elijah Wood’s saucer eyes and the melodramatics of those final scenes anymore,I was going to drown myself in my Coke. Also, in the first LOTR, when the guy from the Matrix movies playing Elrond comes on screen the first time as a 50 ft high closeup, we burst out laughing to the hate of everyone in the theatre.

  117. Laura

    I agree with the comment about Quills–really, I should have known better.

    I was recently disappointed with Knocked Up…I had gone with such high expectations and it unfortunately fell flat (imho).

    I can’t remember a film I walked out of…but like most of you I have definitely turned off a DVD. Most recently, The Departed. I just couldn’t get into it. Also, High Art–such a bloody pretentious film. Maybe it got better, but from what I saw it was taking itself waaaaaaaaaay too seriously (which is kinda funny considering the title).

  118. “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.”

    I just thought it sucked.

    A Dracula that didn’t suck would be sorta missing the point, though. What would he be – a friggin’ vegetarian vampire?

  119. Not Gigli?

    You will not find anyone who saw Gigli posting on the Internet.

    It is very difficult to type after you’ve ripped your eyes from your skull rather than deal with the mind-numbing horror they are inflicting on you. I think I’d rather watch a porno of Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath locked in a 69.

  120. If I haven’t walked out, I’ve made Mystery Science Theatre 3000-like snarky comments.

    For example, during the first scenes of Kingdom of Heaven, there was a fight about whether or not Orlando Bloom playing a blacksmith (with a build like that and he’s a blacksmith??) would go off to the Crusades and he got in a fight with a priest. He ended up throwing the priest into the roaring furnace. I turned to a friend and said, “He’s no longer a priest; he’s a frier!”

    That’s about all you can do…

  121. Lesley

    I walked out of Mommie Dearest. I kept thinking that Christopher Crawford should have been the one to write the book and make the movie. It seemed clear to me that as badly as Christina was treated, Christopher had it even worse, but that was getting glossed over. That bothered me so much, that I just walked out.

  122. DBK

    Hated Meet the Parents, so you’re not alone. Hated the sequel, too. Saw them on TV. Can’t stand Ben Stiller. Saw a bit of Something About Mary on TV last night (never saw any of it before). That guy sucks so bad.

  123. Zack

    We also walked out of a movie called “Q”. Just to give you a a sense of the plot, here are the IMDB keywords: decapitation, giant monster, human sacrifice, detective, police. Enough said.

    I think I’m really out of touch with you on this one. I liked Q quite a bit (it has Micheal Moriarty at his most brilliantly method, David Carradine and Richard Roundtree), but even if I hadn’t seen it, those keywords all sound like pure awesome to me.

  124. William K. Wolfrum

    When I lived in Anchorage, I’d always go the legendary 4th Ave. Theater whenever they had a new movie to try and support the cause (I think it was finally torn down, sadly).

    I forget the name of the film, but it was a horror film about druids. A lot of scary shots of a tree. Repeated scary shots of a tree, actually. I just had to leave.

    Seriously, druids aren’t scary.

    –WKW

  125. Todd

    Wow I can’t believe some of the movies people have walked out on! People have listed some that I really like! Haha.

    Anyway, I have never walked out on a movie. Actually, it kind of annoys me when people do, and if I were with someone who wanted to (which has happened) I would be irritated. It strikes me as rude, although I’m not sure to whom. If a movie is offensive or disturbing, at least that holds my interest and isn’t the ultimate sin – being boring. I have fallen asleep during many films.

    Having said that, I have turned off videos at home and sent them straight back to Netflix! I don’t know what the difference is.

    Two recent films that I was thisclose to walking out of were The Number 23 with Jim Carey and Hannibal Rising. 23 was so horrible (dialogue, plot, acting, etc.) that I can safely say it is the WORST movie I have ever seen. It wasn’t even funny-bad, it was this-pisses-me-off bad. Hannibal Rising was mind-numbingly boring. By the end I was begging for a disturbing torture scene just to wake me up. Eat a puppy – something! No such luck.

  126. L

    I went to the theater to see Alien: Resurrection and fell asleep. It was so awful. I’ve rented movies that actually made washing the dishes and cleaning the house very appealling. I turned off National Treasure after 20 minutes. Horrible fucking movie. It was so shitty I couldn’t even make fun of it.
    Tart, I’ve seen that stupid Russo documentary. It’s ridiculous.

  127. I have fallen asleep during many films.

    Me, too! More than I could possibly count.

    The Harry Potter films, which Mr. Shakes and my parents love, and about which I couldn’t give less of a shit if I tried, have provided me with some good naps…

  128. I didn’t leave Bewitched, but should have — the husband and I discussed it more than once, but kept thinking that it just had to get better. It didn’t. In the whole two hours, there was one thing I found funny. Will Ferrell should be punished for that. And Nicole Kidman should have known better.

    I also was unbelievably angry about the end of the second Matrix movie, but it never occurred to me to try leaving. Incorrigible optimist that I am, I always think things will improve at some point. I did refuse to see the third one, though, because of the second, which is kind of like walking out of a movie you never went to in the first place.

  129. Todd

    Oh yes – another was the Stepford Wives re-make. I really wanted to walk out of that one.

  130. Zack

    The Harry Potter films, which Mr. Shakes and my parents love, and about which I couldn’t give less of a shit if I tried, have provided me with some good naps…

    Have you ever gotten around to the third one? Because as much as I enjoy the books, the first two movies are pretty deadly. Which isn’t a huge surprise, coming from the director who gave us Stepmom. The third one, directed by Alfonso Cuarón (who gave us the fucking astonishing Children of Men), was actually quite good.

  131. Jewel

    PortlyDyke, re your “I am a lesbian” moment, I just want to say:

    You are AWESOME.

    I’ve never walked out of a movie theater because I try not to pay my hard-earned and scarce cash for something that has the liklihood of sucking. But like most of the rest of y’all, I’ve turned off DVDs and slept through movies. Most recently, walked out of the living room when the BF was watching Ghost Rider. I don’t know how he stomachs that schlock.

  132. Hestia

    I walked out of a dumb Freddie Prinze Jr. movie called “Down To You” because nothing was happening. I thought, I bet walking to my car would be at least this exciting, so I left.

    If I hadn’t been stuck in the middle of a crowded theater, I would have walked out of “A Clockwork Orange.” Yeah yeah, cinematic brilliance and all that — the sexual assault scenes made me seriously uncomfortable. I hate that movie.

  133. beatgrl

    Casino
    Joe Peschi was kicking that guy in the head over and over and the camera would not. pull. away.

  134. RowanRising

    I love Death Becomes Her!!!

    I walked out of The Talented Mr. Ripley. Nearly fell asleep.

  135. I’ve only walked out of two movies in my entire life – Eyes Wide Shut and Boxing Helena.

  136. Lisa

    In college I worked on the social board that chose the movies to show on campus. We, wanting to be pretentious mvoies snobs, often chose foreign films. I recall one Italian film that had the memorable line, “Let me hear you moan like a frog under a wagon wheel.” during the sex scene. At least that’s what the subtitle said. Oh how I wished I could walk out, but I was running the projector.

    I also suffer from bad movie induced narcolepsy. I enjoyed a great nap during the first Star Trek movie, and more recently, There’s Something About Mary.

  137. Lisa

    Or “movie snobs”, geez I can’t spell today.

  138. k

    Just one: Bean.

    That doesn’t mean there weren’t others I should have walked out of, naturally. But Bean was such a colossal waste of talent and opportunity that I couldn’t bear to watch any longer.

    Rowan… you done me wrong.

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