Stroke Your Man’s Ego: Give Up Teh Butt

Details magazine, which once upon a time distinguished itself by being the gentleman’s mag that a feminist could read, long ago lost my interest when its editors evidently decided that not being routinely offensive toward women was a liability. Even knowing they’d gone down that road, this piece of misogynist shit article really takes the fucking cake.

[Warning: There is an image that may not be worksafe at the link and below the fold.]

Is it Ok to Demand Anal Sex? piercingly asks the headline, and just below is this image:

And I regret to say that the image is not even the most offensive part of the piece, which goes on to explain how gettin’ anal is a point of pride for the modern man.

Phillip, an engineer in Chicago, says he and his friends request a ride in the back seat because it’s a harder-to-reach goal than old-fashioned intercourse. “Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers,” he says…

For other men, the appeal of anal penetration is less the novelty—and the fact that it gives them a good story to tell over beers—and more the psychology.

Dear American Men:

British Men drink beer a lot. A lot. And yet they don’t seem to judge the value of everything, from the leader of their country to the most intimate sex acts, by how awesomely these things enhance their beer-drinking experiences. What gives?

Love,
Liss

“For most of my friends, it’s sort of a domination thing,” says John (not his real name), 30, a writer in New York. “[It’s] basically getting someone in a position where they’re most vulnerable. My friends enjoy that and they tell their friends they did it. But it’s not like girls are ready for it—it’s something they do when they’re really drunk.”

Dear Details,

You know you’re onto a hot story when one of your sources is probably a rapist, eh?

Love,
Liss

“Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it,” [Albert (his middle name), a good-looking 29-year-old who’s fairly well-known in the music industry] says. “But only with you.”

Dear Albert,

You sound charming.

Also, I’d like to introduce you to a concept called “the virgin-whore dichotomy.”

Love,
Liss

P.S. I bet you’re the kind of guy who says douchy shit like “Dylan was overrated” as if you’re the first one to say it, aren’t you?

* * *

My letter-writing complete, I shall now make for the nearest post office, where I will proceed to bang my head against its exterior cinderblock walls.

[H/T Jessica.]

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88 Comments

Filed under 01_shakespeares_sister

88 responses to “Stroke Your Man’s Ego: Give Up Teh Butt

  1. Jeezy Creezy. This is the kind of shit that makes me not want to have sex with a man ever again. It makes me feel dirty for ever wanting to have sex with a man, because it shows me that men think women who want to have sex are filthy sluts.

    (for the sake of the coming “but, but, I’m not that kind of guy” – I am speaking generally of men, and if the shoe doesn’t fit, please don’t defend it. (And if that metaphor sounds mixed, then you are not a Project Runway fan).

  2. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

    It’s not the anal — that’s not my thing, but wev (as we Shakes denizens say). It’s the male/female, dominant/submissive thing that they seem to be looking for and enjoying far too much.

    Hey, all you Details readers: Being into anal sex doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.

  3. And I forgot to mention that that “illustration” is awful and offensive. (Pointing out the obvious is what I do best.)

  4. This is the kind of shit that makes me not want to have sex with a man ever again.

    I understand this feeling totally.

    It’s the male/female, dominant/submissive thing that they seem to be looking for and enjoying far too much.

    Exactly.

    Being into anal sex doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.

    LOL…sob.

  5. Wow. Just wow.

    I honestly don’t know if any of my friends have gone there, and I don’t want to know, and frankly if they tried to tell me, I’d tell them to STFU.

    The idea that I’d want to have sex so I would have a good story to share…well, maybe when I was 17, and stupid. But now that I’ve actually been with a lady (wink wink, nudge nudge) I think the experience is probably more fun than talking about it with your friends over a beer. At least it is if you’re doing it right. And choosing your orifice based on story potential is…well, it’s just a little odd.

    Also, yeah, that guy is totally a rapist.

  6. Okay. Before I comment, I want to write something about anal sex from teh gay perspective — ‘cuz someone will probably bring it up.

    NOT ALL GAY MEN ENJOY ANAL SEX!

    There, I got that off my chest.

    Now, for the topic at hand.

    This is a growing trend in men’s magazines. They’re all floundering and stooping to Penthouse-style writing in order to compete with the Internet.

    It won’t be long before the only type of men’s publications will be sports magazines and porn.

  7. Angelos

    Um, yeah.

    I haven’t read the article yet, because I was too busy, but I do have it in the next newsletter to go out.

    Who the fuck are these people!?

    I mean, I like anal sex, but of the 19 or 20 partners I’ve had, only 3 have liked it and wanted to do it as an occasional variety thing. Two others were willing try it (being GGG and all) a couple times and give it a shot, but found it too uncomfortable to be enjoyable. And isn’t that the whole point?

    Now, if these guys were all 23 or 25, I’d just write it off as immaturity, but fuck, by 30 years old shouldn’t you be past the whole bragging and conquest thing?

  8. Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers

    Words fail me.

  9. Mamasquab

    I will never see a toy train again without wanting to take a shower. Is there nothing that immature dickheads can’t ruin for us??

  10. NOT ALL GAY MEN ENJOY ANAL SEX!

    That really threw me for a loop when I found that out, I’m ashamed to say.

    Neither do all straight men. If people want some variety or to try a bunch of stuff, great. But for me sex is something to be enjoyed by each participant. The way those guys in the article talked about anal made it sound like they didn’t like it either. They just wanted a conquest. It seems pretty clear to me that the likelihood of their partners actually enjoying anything with them is pretty low. I also wonder if those guys are able to enjoy sex at all, or if it’s just about belt-notches and status.

  11. Paen

    I think that thse machos are a bunch of half wit loosers because they think sex is about dominance and impressing other idiots,rather than the sharing of pleasure between people who care about each other.

  12. JoshWatermanMN

    Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers

    If that were truly the case, I and many gay men I know would be princes of the fucking universe. At the very least, we would all have nosebleeds from the high pedestal on which we are placed.

    I guess we can chalk this up as yet another double standard.

  13. Articles like this just reinforce my view that some men hate women, but are sexually attracted to them, so use women for sex.

    If these men could just get over the “ick” of sex with other men, those men would be doing a great service for women everywhere, because they could just have sex with one another and revel in their hatred of women together.

  14. Zack

    I like that there’s a little model tree in that photo. “Here, enjoy our horribly disturbing, sexist image. And a tiny tree.”

    I think if I was friends with anybody who bragged to me about sticking his dick up someone’s butt, we wouldn’t be friends anymore. I probably wouldn’t hit them, but I couldn’t have any other conversations with that person without worrying what they were going to brag about next.

  15. I think the most disturbing part of the image for me was the train–it’s the double meaning that gets me (pulling a train) which hints that any woman who consents to anal sex is the kind who would also get off on a gang bang.

  16. “Here, enjoy our horribly disturbing, sexist image. And a tiny tree.”

    *snick*

    And not to get all anatomical or anything, but if my own observations are anything to go on, the train’s not even headed in the right direction.

  17. If these men could just get over the “ick” of sex with other men, those men would be doing a great service for women everywhere, because they could just have sex with one another and revel in their hatred of women together.

    Yeah, but I’d feel bad for the gay community. Maybe there’s an island someplace where we could just ship these people.

  18. the train’s not even headed in the right direction

    I had the same thought. Are you sure that’s an asshole you’ve been bragging about fucking, doodz…?

  19. Yeah, but I’d feel bad for the gay community. Maybe there’s an island someplace where we could just ship these people.

    Yes, well, I was proposing that men who hate women but have sex with women have sex with each other, the gay community already has enough misogyny, thank you, I don’t think we need these guys too.

    (I also would like to point out the correct usage of “have sex” in reference to consenting sexual intercourse.)

  20. Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers…

    Um, exactly how narrow is this pedestal? And how much are his peers into it?

  21. NameChanged

    To me the whole idea of anal being the new home base thing is disgusting. Men see anal sex as the “all-the-way” of today, and women who enjoy it are sluts, those who are not willing to are prudes. Again, as Melissa pointed out, the Madonna v. Whore thing comes up.

    As for the “porn fantasy” at the end of the article, I am inclined to believe that many women are trying to live up to this bizarre hypersexual standard. I am not only interested in the man’s pleasure during sex, as a matter of fact I often care about how I feel during sex. I think that many (especially young men and young women) are getting the message that women are only playthings, and men are the masters of the sexual domain.

  22. You know, when I have sex with a man, I always have this crazy assumption that he wants to have sex with me; that it’s not about the fucking pedastal.

    I also love the “there’s evidence that some women actually like it.” Fancy that! Women enjoying sex acts! They must be disgusting pigs!

    I have this crazy idea; maybe it’s the men who talk about women that way who are disgusting pigs. And as to the sex act, I will say the same thing about it that I say about blow jobs: If you use the act of giving head as an insult, I will certainly not give you any.

  23. “Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers”

    Since y’all have said it all already, i shall proceed to mock their semantics. I think they needed to be a little more…uh…specific with their implied referents to get to what i presume is their intended meaning.

    That, or my pedestal is late in arriving.

    /still wants a pedestal.
    //a nice pink one

  24. Teppy

    Is it Ok to Demand Anal Sex? piercingly asks the headline

    Dear Details and your sexually-liberated male readers,

    Yes.

    As long as you don’t complain about the size of the strap-on she uses on you.

    Love,

    Teppy

  25. oddjob

    Now, if these guys were all 23 or 25, I’d just write it off as immaturity, but fuck, by 30 years old shouldn’t you be past the whole bragging and conquest thing?

    Yes, but then there are the 70-year olds who aren’t past that either……

  26. Betsy

    Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers

    Only if his peers have brains the size of chickpeas.

    I was really put off by the “Albert” quote about “Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it.” The idea that “wanting it” makes a woman a “disgusting pig” is so sickening. I know it’s nothing new, but it’s still a shock to hear it stated so baldly.

  27. I…. Wow.

    The larger issue I have with the title is that no one should be DEMANDING any form of sex with a person who isn’t willing. Maybe it’s just poor word choice but this kind of thinking just leads back down the road of coercion – “If you REALLY love me, you’ll have sex with me.”

  28. oddjob

    “Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it.” The idea that “wanting it” makes a woman a “disgusting pig” is so sickening.

    I need a heterosexual semantics lesson here (this is a slight sidetrack, so feel free to ignore if wanders too far astray). Among the gay men I’ve heard use that phrase, it’s in essence a compiment. A gay men so described is one free of the inhibitions caused by taboos, and so completely free to explore his sexual self. Since men are usually pretty fond of sex (especially when young and it’s often difficult to think of much else), that means the gay pig is available for a lot of what many gay men think of as fun (& dominance isn’t necessarily a part of this equation, although it easily and often is).

    What does a straight man mean when he describes a woman he likes to have sex with as a “pig”?

  29. As long as you don’t complain about the size of the strap-on she uses on you.

    LOL!

  30. oddjob

    The larger issue I have with the title is that no one should be DEMANDING any form of sex with a person who isn’t willing.

    Forcing any form of sex on someone unwilling is rape. Period.

  31. DBK

    Crazyville again.

    What I really enjoyed about that beautifully written (“service entrance”) and stunningly intellectual article was the way it makes it seem like this is some kind of national movement and all men are into it. Now maybe I’m just out of the loop on the latest fashion trends, though I do try to watch Project Runway and America’s Next Top Anorexic and Does America Have Anal Talent? and So You Think You Can Fuck In the Butt so I can keep up with these things, but I have my doubts about this alleged national bowel movement.

  32. What does a straight man mean when he describes a woman he likes to have sex with as a “pig”?

    I think he means essentially the same thing, Oddjob–a woman who likes to rut around in the dirt, as it were, with abandon.

    But there’s a layer involved with the het community that doesn’t really exist in the gay male community (but may just yet, if same-sex marriage is legalized; careful what you wish for, lol!) that “pigs” are great girls, but not the kind of girls you bring home to meet Mama, not the kind of girls you marry, i.e. the virgin-whore dichotomy. “I want to marry a virgin, and have her behave like a whore only with me.”

    In all honesty, I don’t really think that will emerge in the gay male community, because it’s inextricably linked to our dual cultural ideas about womanhood.

  33. oddjob

    Thanks, Liss.

  34. We’re offended by parking barriers, but not by this?

    There really is no hope.

  35. mamajane

    Teppy, you crack my shit up. I’m in the computer lab at school and trying to contain myself while getting many puzzled looks.

    Where do they find these guys? Anyone else notice the language in the quotes seems a bit like someone trying to write like a frat boy, kind of strained, has that same fakey feel to it as “quotes” in the national Enquirer?

  36. Exactly, oddjob. The title might as well be, “Is it okay to anally rape your partner?”

    Also, in your description of “pig” in the gay community, there seems to be a certain affection and positivity associated with the term. You say a pig isn’t afraid of taboos and is “free” to “explore” the more “fun” things. In het terms, a woman who is a pig is automatically dirty. She’s down for all of the things that still have taboos associated with them but part of the fun is in violating those taboos. Unfortunately, the male partner doesn’t respect the female who is freely exploring the fun stuff. She’s not clean enough, not decent.

    There’s this scene in the Sopranos where Tony is discussing why he has a mistress – the mistress will perform sex acts he will not ask for from his wife. Why won’t he ask for them from his wife? Because she kisses his children with that mouth.

    The dirty pig female is good enough to fuck for adventure points but not good enough to view as an actual person.

  37. I was really put off by the “Albert” quote about “Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it.”

    You probably don’t want to know what is considered to be a “disgusting pig” in the gay world. But, it usually refers to someone into raunchy sex, S&M, and similar fetishes. Many gay men advertise in personal ads that they are “pigs”:

    Lookin for Masculine Leather Men to Serve All sub bottom that loves the smell and taste of leather on a real man. The more leather men the more of a pig I can be. Oinkkkkkkkkkkkk…
    45 years old | Looking for gay dating or friendship

    Frankly, I wasn’t aware that straight folks use the term. But, I’m not surprised. I suppose there has to be a straight “pig fetish” community. Perhaps a straight Shaker can shed light on that.

    I think that in many ways, this kind of gay sex is the “masculine extreme” — what sex can become when the sensibilites of women are removed from the situation. It is often impersonal, brutish, and even violent. Most women would not find this type of sex appealing. But, it has a surprisingly broad level of interest among gay men.

    Gay men who are into being “pigs” are proud of the label. They don’t view it as degrading (even though degradation is certainly part of the fetish).

  38. oddjob

    Exactly, oddjob. The title might as well be, “Is it okay to anally rape your partner?”

    The only exception to that which I can think of (& I’m completely speculating here because my own tastes don’t run this way at all) might be among people who like playing out dominant/submissive sex roles, where the dominant one “demands” and gets what is wanted. However, because of the nature of that kind of role playing permission is still necessarily a part of it all.

    It’s a different way to use the word “demand” since you’re only “demanding” what your submissive partner is already thrilled to be required to provide.

    And so is not a “demand” in the sense that consent isn’t part of the equation at all. Consent has already been obtained ahead of time.

  39. oddjob

    The Rotund, I see very well what you’re getting at. That’s a miserable way to treat someone else!

  40. oddjob

    Fritz put it more bluntly than I did, but that was exactly what I was referring to.

  41. Angelos

    Nice, Rotund.

    Another thing I’ve always found bizarre is some men’s discomfort with a woman’s previous “history.”

    Let’s see, you want her to fuck wildly and wantonly, suck and swallow, maybe take it in the ass… but this desire just turned up right now because she’s with you?

    It’s a flip-side of the pig thing.

    You want her to do all this stuff, but she’s a slut or a pig if she does?

  42. In all honesty, I don’t really think that [the virgin-whore dichotomy] will emerge in the gay male community, because it’s inextricably linked to our dual cultural ideas about womanhood.

    Actually, Liss, I believe it has.

    My ex was heavily into S&M and hid it from me for over a year after we began living together.

    When I found a duffle bag full of leather fetish toys hidden in the garage, he admitted that he had been sneaking off to engage in S&M sex with other guys.

    He promised that he would stop. And, I figured that if he was into that kind of of thing, I could indulge him a little — let him tie me up, etc. Nothing too freaky.

    I was wrong. He told me that he couldn’t engage in that kind of activity with me. He needed both a “vanilla” lover like me who he could love and respect. He also needed to abuse and humiliate anonymous S&M partners. I made him feel guilty to engage in that kind of activity with me.

    I was the “virgin” and his S&M partners were the “whores.” Pretty classic don’t you think?

  43. oddjob, I think you are spot on in differentiating between sexual power games where a dominance scenario is consensual. But I don’t think that is the kind of demanding referred to in the article, you know?

    And, yes, it’s a totally miserable way to treat someone – and it is all too common. Melissa mentioned the Virgin/Whore dichotomy, which is way more common than many people think. My great-grandmother even expressed to me that what men really want is a woman who can play the lady in the drawing room and the whore in the bedroom. She was in her 70s at the time and to hear her say the word whore was seriously shocking! *laugh*

    But the role of lady and whore are both just that – roles. Men who express a desire for that aren’t really looking for partners, they are looking for actresses.

  44. oddjob

    Angelos, that’s the exhasperation Melissa was talking about. To a guy who thinks that way, apparently a woman is never just another human being, but rather is either angelic or demonic.

    Either way, she’s an icon, not a person.

  45. Dr. Loveless

    Phillip, an engineer in Chicago, says he and his friends request a ride in the back seat because it’s a harder-to-reach goal than old-fashioned intercourse. “Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers,” he says…

    You know, when I was in my teens and 20s, there was an unspoken rule among dudes: The more sex you brag about, the less sex you’ve actually had. That was a long time ago, but I’m fairly sure the rule hasn’t changed.

  46. oddjob

    Fritz, sure sounds that way to me!

  47. Angelos

    The more sex you brag about, the less sex you’ve actually had.

    Yeah, we all know those people.

  48. Just to add to what The Rotund said, there is a small segment of the straight male population who finds female “pigs” inimitably diggable, but those guys would never call them pigs. They regard sexually uninhibited women as fun and adventurous and free and cool–and these guys are usually the same way themselves. “Anything goes” and all that.

    It’s more of a hippie sensibility, you know? John and Yoko kind of stuff, though the people who express it could just as easily be in business suits as Birkenstocks.

    The thing about pigs and pig-fetishists is that they’re not doing anything that Middle America Mom and Pop might not be doing. (Kinsey settled that years ago.) They just like to think they are, and the sex seeming dirty and sordid (in addition to the related domination and dehumanization stuff) evokes that feeling.

    People who know there’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to sex don’t need to feel like they’re conquering some new frontier by coercing partners to do something.

  49. Liss, I should also add that I think the personal situation I detailed above is linked to “our dual cultural ideas about womanhood.”

    My blond hair and “pretty” features have always resulted in gay men assigning to me more of a female role. When I was young, I was always the blond twink who never had to pay for drinks at the bar.

    Many of the guys I dated were looking for an angelic, cute blond boy. Playing innocent always worked well for me.

    Of course, I’ve matured quite a bit sense then. But, even in my current relationship, my boyfriend feels the need to take care of me in a rather paternal way — even though he’s only five years my senior.

  50. Angelos

    Right, oddjob.

    I know my wife had sex before she met me. Now, she didn’t enjoy it, of course…

  51. oddjob

    The more sex you brag about, the less sex you’ve actually had.

    Yeah, we all know those people.

    Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more………

  52. oddjob

    I know my wife had sex before she met me. Now, she didn’t enjoy it, of course…

    😆 !

  53. I cancelled my subscription to Glamou because I was sick of the entire female magazine culture, which is just as sexist and dehumanizing to women as the male magazine culture.

    “How to make him beg for it…”
    “Sexy lingerie that will make him pant…”
    “How to make his orgasm even more intense!”

    First of all, I’ve only had one boyfriend who was into lingerie, and even he could take it or leave it. And second of all, fuck you, Conde Nast.

    All magazines are stupid and make you dumber, except Harper’s, which rocks, and would never demean my intelligence by reminding me to use both hands while giving a blow job. I’ve been doing that for years…to men who fucking respect me, yo.

  54. Liss, I should also add that I think the personal situation I detailed above is linked to “our dual cultural ideas about womanhood.”

    Yeah, I think that’s right. Plus, I’ve known a lot of gay men, particularly ones well older than I, who wanted a “wife” just as much as any straight man I’ve ever met–someone to stay home (or have a significantly less demanding and/or presigious job), do the housework, etc. And I can’t recall any of them who had the dual life of your ex (some of those “gay wives” were total pigs, in the whimsical sense of the word), but it’s certainly not a stretch for me to imagine that among those gay men who were raised in conservative families where wives are still “the little woman,” and who want a partner who fits that bill, that the virgin-whore issue can certainly come into play.

  55. Angelos

    Oh, so you know the Altoids/Icepack trick, Tart?

  56. …except Harper’s, which rocks, and would never demean my intelligence by reminding me to use both hands while giving a blow job.

    Hands? Oh, Tart, if you’re using your hands, you ain’t doin’ it right.

    🙂

  57. Angelos, I do not use food props.

    And Fritz, I most certainly am….I have witnesses.

  58. Sort of OT: I seriously believe that Victoria’s Secret is manufacturing demand, much like Hallmark and Valentine’s Day. They would like us to believe that we just CANNNOT HAVE SEX OR BE SEXY WITHOUT IT. I know for a fact that this is wholly untrue.

  59. Tart – the other great thing about those story titles (which are SO dead on and one of the reasons I never got into reading womens mags) is that they are exclusively focused on the male orgasm. There’s never any “make your OWN orgasm more intense” advice – just regurgitated tripe about wearing high heels and a lace bra to turn your man on.

    Which, yeah, who decided that was the universal signifier of what men find attractive?

  60. There’s never any “make your OWN orgasm more intense” advice

    Oh there is.

    But it’s always about masturbation.

  61. What really offended me in that article (well, along with all the other crap) is the use of ladylike to describe the girlfriend of “Todd.” Wha? So are they telling me a woman who has “a whole lot of anal sex” might not be a disgusting pig? I have to lie down, my head is spinning.
    PS: Teppy rules!

  62. This is true, Melissa. But even those articles are all about “men like women who are in touch with their sexual sides!” As thought we have to justify masturbation beyond, “it feels good and I felt like it.”

  63. Four quick things:

    1. Thank you, Details magazine, for clearing up any questions any thinking person may have had in the future regarding the quality of your publication or the people making the editorial decisions.

    2. It’s things like the sophomoric quotes of the Ralph Malphesque penis-bearers in the article’s excerpts here that have caused me to preemptively wince anytime I feel the need to defend my gender.

    3. I like sex. All kinds. So does my wife. We do what we mutually enjoy. Alot. Someday we may even have sex up on a pedestal. I’m fairly certain we don’t brag about it to our peers, although I guess this could be considered bragging if someone reading it is currently in a slump of sorts.

    4. Teppy f’n rocks out loud!

  64. But even those articles are all about “men like women who are in touch with their sexual sides!” As thought we have to justify masturbation beyond, “it feels good and I felt like it.”

    Totally.

    The point I was making, though, was that they aren’t even about improving our orgasms with male partners, i.e. while we’re given articles on how to improve his orgasm, we’re also given articles on how to improve ours, but it’s not tips to pass on to him.

    Just tips on how to better masturbate. It’s like, “Don’t even bother, girls. He doesn’t give a shit.” Or, “It’s not his job to please you.”

    Both of which are naturally utter bullshit. 😉

  65. We are on the same page, Melissa – it is never about making sex with a partner a more pleasureable experience for the woman.

    And, really, we haven’t even touched on the assumed hetero stance most of these articles employ.

  66. And, really, we haven’t even touched on the assumed hetero stance most of these articles employ.

    Oh good lord. Reason #1,569,834 why I curse the fates for not making me a dyke: “Women’s” mags wouldn’t even try to talk to me.

  67. I thought the same thing about the train pic (hey doodz, wrong tunnel.) But I’m not surprised, as I think a lot of men don’t know a thing about their partner’s anatomy.

    For a funny bit on anal sex — have you seen this from “Lucky Louis”?

  68. Teppy I had the same thought although not nearly as wittily put as you. I figured it was about straight men into pegging, silly me. As someone whose first sexual experiences were with a woman who liked anal sex occasionally, anal sex does not seem to be that big a deal as a part of a normal sex life. I guess I am just weird that way.

  69. Pingback: The Rotund » Do Not Feed After Midnight

  70. Tricia(I need a more unique name)

    If there’s any good news about this it’s that the comments on that article aren’t nearly the cesspit of horror I expected them to be.

    On the downside, my neph is in a hardcore phase of his Thomas the Tank Engine addiction… ick.

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    Optional: rope or handcuffs, ball gag

    One to two hours before: Instruct the man to cleanse himself internally using a glycerin suppository. (Enemas create excessive fluid)

    Have the man strip. Instruct him to get down on hands and knees. Utilize optional restraints if desired. Apply lube to latex gloved fingers and insert into rectum until man has relaxed his sphincter muscle. Turn glove inside out as you remove it and discard. Alternately, if ball gag has not been used, insert hand-opening end of glove into man’s mouth. Unzip your pants. Insert bulb end of the Feeldoe through the opening in the men’s underwear. Lubricate dildo end liberally. Penetrate man. Bend forward and pull man’s hair while thrusting. Reach around to nipples and pinch. Spank ass as desired. Optional: leaving bite marks on man’s back.
    Act is concluded when you say it is and not before.

  72. DerelictDaughter11

    Damn, I missed out on being the 69th comment.

    Well, of course it’s always wrong to DEMAND anything, including and especially anal sex, from a partner. I apologize if I’m reiterating what people have said above, as I haven’t read through all of the comments since I left work (and couldn’t bring myself to comment on this there, where they probably monitor all the other horribly work-inappropriate things I read and write all day!).

    I’ve come to suspect that the anal sex craze is perhaps partially attributable to the fact that just about every single porn features it. Guys are “brainwashed” into wanting it, and with that comes the objectification of women and the idea that demanding anal sex and getting it somehow makes them more like “men”.

    That said, it’s not all men that think that way, and women who do it and enjoy it aren’t disgusting pigs or whores. My current partner enjoys anal sex and porn, and I enjoy both with him. Anal sex is not at the top of my menu, but through some experimenting, we’ve figured out what I enjoy. He never asks to do it…he waits til I offer. He, too, can’t enjoy sex (anal or otherwise) unless his partner is enjoying it just as thoroughly, so the idea that it isn’t something I’m up for ruins it.

    I had some more to say but I have no idea what it was. The American League is leading by one and I’m too tired to wait for the NL to win sooooo…good night and sweet dreams (of whatever type of consensual wonderful sex you enjoy most!).

    p.s. I love that in this safe wonderful place of shakesville, I can be inappropriate and share TMI and still be totally on topic! 🙂

  73. DerelictDaughter11

    Oh, and he certainly doesn’t friggin brag to his friends about getting anal sex, or any sex…hell no. That’s a little bit “middle school” and thankfully, he’s matured beyond that stage. Not by much sometimes, but still. 😉

  74. Lexxy

    “Once a guy has anal sex, he’s put on a pedestal by his peers.”

    This is so sick, the objectification of women to serve homosocial bonding. Society has created this mythology of Women, not as people, but things that can enhance male status among their peer groups. Rape and abuse is made okay, and noramlized by articles like this, which says men should want to dominate to be manly men, and women should be submissive to be desirable sexaul partners, or partners period, not human beings deserving of the utmost respect as the transmitters of life and culture, but things that men should want to control, the disposable ones, the invisible ones, the non-human tunnel.

  75. I hope that with each copy of the magazine there was a DVD of “Bend Over Boyfriend” included.

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  77. Elusis

    This is painful for me to read because the last guy I had sex with pretty much got the Round the World Tour, and then treated me like a non-entity the next day. I thought I’d pretty much shaken off the “maybe he wanted to fuck me but was embarassed about being into a fat girl” feeling, until I read then and was newly ashamed to have done something I wanted and enjoyed, because maybe in his mind…. ugh, I can’t even go there.

    It really does make me echo those who said they feel like they never want to have sex with a man again. Not that women can’t make me self-doubting too, but not quite like this.

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  79. (This is probably going to be long and rambly – i’m writing this in Notepad as i read responses because there are far too many things to which i want to respond. So, apologies if this is a bit long and fragmented.)

    I’m reminded of a song i once heard on the radio (which i listen to once in a blue moon, so i can’t even tell you who sang it) that had a line “they want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed”.

    I think the idea is that men of this type are looking for a woman who acts normally, but has a secret burning* desire for That One Special Guy to unleash her sexual potential. It plays into the virgin-whore notion, which ultimately, is there to prove to the man that he has The Golden Cock, that his schlong is not only the biggest, but the best. Naturally, finding out that this woman might want to do the literal nasty with someone else will deflate that ego-rection faster than a pin does to a balloon.

    I’ve known more than a few couples who had long term S&M relationships where they both found physical and emotional satisfaction. Some of them took it as a more “occasional play” thing, but a few of them did it more as a lifestyle. But in all of these relationships, it was entirely consensual – there was no rape and no coersion.

    These guys who coerce or rape for anal sex remind me of the yuppies that i used to see in the goth clubs: they came there because they thought we had the best drug hookups. A guy in khakis and dockers once almost got violent with my husband when he thought Ben was holding out on him. It’s another type of safari: you’re not going for the purpose of viewing the wildlife in all of it’s natural and beautiful glory. You go to shoot the wild animals and bring them home as stuffed trophies. You drink brandy and smoke cigars proudly as the other men admire your taxidermied what-have-you and compliment the hunting prowess required to obtain such a specimen.

    Whatever the sexual act desired may be, i do not get off on the idea of being dehumanized for the sole purpose of anyone else’s wankfest.

    Tart, the joke about lingerie is that it really looks best on the floor. I’ve owned a few pieces of it, and every time i wore it, i wanted to get undressed as quickly as possible – because it’s poorly made, ill-fitting, uncomfortable, the satin and silk hold in enough heat to break me out in a sweat and the lace is itchy. Nothing says sexy like awkward discomfort, eh?

    * – anytime i see the word “burning” in association with physically intimate acts, i invariably find myself thinking that antibiotics might be a good idea. This also applies to the words: throbbing
    , aching, etc.

  80. newly ashamed to have done something I wanted and enjoyed

    Don’t be ashamed of having done something you wanted and enjoyed because you did it with someone who turned out to be a jerk. Fuck him. He doesn’t get to be the arbiter of your self-regard.

    Next time you see him, tell him, “You’re an asshole. Hope you liked mine; it’s the last time you’ll ever see it!”

  81. oddjob

    anytime i see the word “burning” in association with physically intimate acts, i invariably find myself thinking that antibiotics might be a good idea.

    😆 !

  82. oddjob

    He doesn’t get to be the arbiter of your self-regard.

    Right on!

  83. Wow. You can’t demant anal…

    Unless you’re the receiver. Then you can pretty much ask for whatever you want.

    Yes, I have had a woman scream… well, in pretty harsh language she called an anal audible. That was a demand. But by her, as the reciever. As the giver, I:

    a) was flabbergasted.
    2) was new to that particular play in the playbook.
    c) did not act like an asshole about it.
    d) did not go tell all my friends over a beer.
    fifth and lastly) did not feel like I suddenly had dominion over her. It was something private, like any sexual act, that we shared.

    oh, and 6) the picture is pretty disgusting, but funny. I mean really, just the absurdity of the proportion of things. No one is that big… man or woman.

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  87. ozzy

    I don’t know about demanding, but this seems to be the way to go about making it a requirement. (Not work safe.)

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