The Democratic Candidates: An in-depth, mature look at real issues

As we inch closer to the 2008 Presidential election, it’s good to stay on top of where the candidates stand on a host of vital issues. Today, we’ll be taking an in-depth and mature look at the key Democratic candidates for President in the 2008 election. As we all know, competition is fierce as the Democratic hopefuls fight to represent the party. So here’s a look at the candidates and where they stand on the most important issues.

A Look at the Democratic Party Candidates

Barak Obama: Lithe and powerful, Obama is like the strong safety you build your defense around, and have a beer with after the game. Assured and erudite, his power is undeniable, both as a speaker, and as a man. Buff and handsome, he supports improving U.S. schools, and looks fantastic in jeans all the while remaining one tough cop.

John Edwards: With shoulders you can land a 737 on, Edwards is the rare breed of politician – a warrior to a fault, yet eager to help others not as blessed as he. Fighting poverty is a main issue for this titan of a pick-up-driving man, who has not only shown that he can stay married, but has consistently proven he can beat all comers at arm-wrestling.

Hillary Clinton: Rarely has one woman so captured the imagination of so many, with her combination of feminine beauty, and jaw-dropping power. The owner of ovaries that make all others weep with jealousy, Hillary is all woman. Clinton has serious street cred, and is a believer that ideology has no place in science and has proven time and time again, that if it came right down to it, she could kick Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s ass.

Bill Richardson: Smelling of Aqua Velva and his opponents’ failures, Richardson is in so many ways a throwback to times when men wandered the forest, killing things and fighting for the conch, such is his innate power. A supporter of legalized medical marijuana, Richardson has belt buckles bigger than Mitt Romney’s hair.


We’ll be back next week, as we talk to the hair stylists, masseuses and Yoga instructors of such Repub leading men as Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Romney.




Filed under 07_wolfrum

10 responses to “The Democratic Candidates: An in-depth, mature look at real issues

  1. Pingback: University Update - Mitt Romney - The Democratic Candidates: An in-depth, mature look at real issues

  2. “We’ll be back next week, as we talk to the hair stylists, masseuses and Yoga instructors of such Repub leading men ”

    That’s so witty.

  3. Pug

    I wouldn’t spend too much time looking for the hair stylists of McCain, Guiliani or Thompson. They don’t have much hair and, if any of them are elected, the comb-over will be in style.

  4. OMG – LMAO!!!

    Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant.

  5. Wow, they sure sound dreamy! Which one gets the centerfold this month?

  6. nightshift66

    Once again, the Wolf nails it. Score: 10. That’s our media in a nutshell.

  7. You forget Mr. Elizabeth Edwards’ hedge-fund robbery to help the poor!

  8. Paen

    While I am not very impressed with any of the candidates I hope Clinton gets in for these reasons:
    1.Millions of little girls would start dreaming of doing the same thing and maybe would spend less time worrying about being fat.
    2.Some one who has actualy given birth might be less likely to
    send other people’s kids off to war.
    3.It’s about damn time that a woman got the job.
    4.Every mach in the U.S. military would have to take orders from a woman.
    5.Last but not least,I can think of nothing that would piss off the wingnuts more than watching”that woman”get sworn in.

  9. Pingback: Bill Richardson News | America for Bill Richardson

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