Alberto Gonzales loses $100 million of your money

While the U.S. government has done everything but create a constitutional amendment stating that they aren’t responsible for a god damned thing, the rest of the planet operates on the concept that those in positions of responsibility, must take responsibility.

So in the real world, U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales lost at least $100 million of our money because someone in the Justice Department can’t type:


Judge can’t fix government’s $100 million boo-boo

It was a $100 million mistake, and a federal judge said Friday he does not have the power to fix it.

The U.S. Justice Department erred last year and cited the wrong law in a binding plea agreement with telecommunication entrepreneur Walter Anderson, the largest known tax evader in U.S. history. That mistake made it impossible for the government to recover between $100 million and $175 million, U.S. District Judge Paul L. Friedman said in March.

Prosecutors urged him to reconsider, but Friedman reluctantly said Friday that his hands were tied.

“The court is not free to read something into a contract that is not there or to interpret uncertain language in the government’s favor,” Friedman said.

Although prosecutors described the error as “a typo” — typographical error — and not “something that the court should be getting wrapped up about,” Friedman said he could do nothing else.

He said he would have worked around the problem by ordering Anderson to repay the money as part of his probation. But prosecutors omitted any discussion of probation, a common element of plea deals, from Anderson’s paperwork.

Friedman sentenced Anderson in March to nine years in prison and ordered him to repay $23 million to the District of Columbia but ordered no restitution to the federal government.

Luckily for Gonzales, personal responsibility was effectively outlawed in 2000. So he’ll continue on as Attorney General, because of President George W. Bush’s loyalty to him, and because he has the least amount of pride ever registered in any type of humanoid, including robots and Ken dolls.

Extra Reading

  • Special Counsel Probe Into Rove’s Politicization Of Government
  • Gonzales plans to ‘tighten the leash’ on attorneys
  • Gonzales has to go
  • WKW

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    9 Comments

    Filed under 07_wolfrum

    9 responses to “Alberto Gonzales loses $100 million of your money

    1. Arkades

      Oh good grief… a typo on a contract? Hasn’t the DOJ ever heard of proofreading?

      Now can we can his incompetent ass?

      Oh, that’s right… he serves at the ‘pleasure’ of the Enabler-in-Chief. Never mind.

    2. Look, this is a perfectly obvious happening, if you think 1. Government is inherently bad, and 2. Efficientc competent and effective government is therefore really, really bad.
      Therefore we have an administration dedicated to having inefficient and incompetent government..And they are doing it to the worst, I mean best, of their ability or lack thereof.
      It’s a feature, not a fuck-up.

    3. there is actually precedent and decided law on that subject Akades.

      there was a gentleman in riverside, california who in the course of recovery in AA cleared up a bunch of traffic warrants, but through a clerical mistake did not have his record completely cleared. then, later was, in the course of a routine ticket, arrested and jailed on the warrants that were not rescinded. while in jail he was attacked by another inmate and greviously injured. he sued and appealled all the way to the circuit court level where they decided (later upheld) that

      we do not have a constitutional right to expect competence from government employees.

      you can look it up and shit.

    4. Ivory Bill Woodpecker

      $#@&*%+! In the end, I guess we can’t blame Gonzales, or his underlings, or the Chimperor himself as much as we have to blame the dishearteningly large number of our fellow citizens who voted for the Chimperor–not a majority, of course, but close enough that voter suppression, vote fraud, and five traitors on the Supreme Court could do the rest–and further, the even more stupid horde of our fellow citizens WHO COULD NOT BE BOTHERED TO GET OFF THEIR SORRY LAZY ARSES AND VOTE AT ALL!

      I fear it may be too late to save this country even if we throw the GOP out and take the Democratic Party away from the DLC. 😦

    5. Mere peanuts baby! That useless fuckwit Paul Bremer lost 8 fucking BILLION. Now there’s a number you can relate to in the incompetence stakes. Although I find it just a bit odd that this wanker who gets off most likely was a heavy contributior to Deacon Dipshit’s Steal the election campaign. Anybody wanna bet?

    6. Maybe if the DOJ would hire actual lawyers instead of “lawyers” educated by Jerry Falwell and the like, these things would happen less often. Honestly, this is ridiculous.

    7. Kate217

      This may seem trivial, but $100 million here, $100 million there, and soon we’re talking some real money.

    8. NMRon

      “Feature, not a fuck up”

      Amen, MR.Bill. When will we (Americans) get it through our collective heads? Shit this widespread and total is not ‘incompetence,’ this is conservative ideology at its zenith. This is the end rethugs, libertarians and conservatives have been working for for the past 30 years. Abetted by there media enablers, conservatives have made America, in the short space of 7 years, a third world country in every respect.

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