Gross Encounters of the Turd Kind

From Raw Story:

According to a Capitol Hill newspaper, police are unable to solve the mystery of the “caca caper.”

“Usually, if a turd gets into the Senate, it’s because he or she was elected,” Emily Heil reports for Roll Call. “But on Wednesday, several large piles of actual, nonmetaphorical ‘No. 2’ found their way into the Capitol, and the source isn’t yet clear.”

Heil continues, “On Wednesday afternoon, Capitol Police cordoned off a section of the hallway on the third floor of the Senate side of the Capitol, where at least three piles of the stuff were causing a stench — and a stir. At first, the word circulating among the staff was that a visiting child had fallen ill while in the gallery. But then the prevailing theory was that the foul stuff had come from an adult or group of adults making a yet-to-be-determined political statement.”

According to the paper, “Reports also circulated that the yucky stuff had been smeared on seats in the gallery overlooking the chamber floor, and the gallery remained closed hours after the incident was first noted.”

When the pundits say they make shit up on Capitol Hill, they’re not kidding.

Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.



Filed under 06_bobby

16 responses to “Gross Encounters of the Turd Kind

  1. joasakura

    man. if laughing for almost an entire minute over this is wrong, i don’t want to be right.

  2. Perhaps someone has started taking the weight loss drug Alli.

    What are treatment effects?
    alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. You may get:

    – gas with oily spotting
    – loose stools
    – more frequent stools that may be hard to control

  3. Has Karl Rove visited recently?

  4. Funny goings on here in Spain today also. Today the recently elected city councillors in all of the 8000+ cities and towns all over Spain took up their positions and amongst them was the first Transvestite ever elected. And she is a doll! Tits all over the place that were obviously difficult to contain and an arse that wouldn’t say stop. Says she is going to put fun into politics. And I believe she will.

    Plus in another municipality a now councillor was sworn in all rigged out as Elvis. Says Elvis came to him in a dream and told him to run for mayor. Didn’t get enough votes to take over the Mayors post but recieved 1800 which was enough to put him on the council which is the first step on the way. You can see the video here

    NO SHIT!

  5. mustelid

    “Usually if a turd gets into the Senate, it’s because he or she was elected.” I’m having way too much fun w/ that one.

  6. MrMtyzptlk

    “…piles of the stuff were causing a stench…”

    Man, for a stench to be considered awful in the Senate it must have
    been powerful indeed.

  7. “Man, for a stench to be considered awful in the Senate it must have been powerful indeed.”

    Yeah, I was kind of wondering “Hmmm . . . how did anyone who is in there regularly notice it after being acclimated to the usual odor on Capitol Hill?”

    That’s probably why the “yet-to-be-determined” political commentors needed to leave three piles of the “yucky stuff” aka “No. 2” (we are all three-year-olds now, and can’t use our grown-up words) — because smearing it around the gallery seats would have simply been business as usual.

  8. And wouldn’t you love to be on that forensics team?

    *holding up calipers*

    “Yes, this is definitely an adult-sized turd. We can rule out the ill child.”

  9. anangryoldbroad

    This is what happens when frat boys are in charge. Sooner or later someone’s gonna shit on the floor and everyone is gonna deny they did it.

  10. Kev

    He who smelt it; dealt it.

  11. marshal mcluen was certainly spot on wasn’t he? the medium is truly the message.

  12. Grumpy, I have to say that a transvestite with “tits all over the place” is trying too hard. She should restrict herself to just two, on either side of her upper chest, except on festive occasions.

    Remind her, please, that she’s not on the city council of Ephesus.

  13. amish451

    I just returned from my morning walk, today is ‘Not Church Day Sunday’ in the Amish community around me so there was a ‘lot’ of Saturday Night and early Sunday morning buggy traffic. There is an abundance of bio-degradeable pollution stuff left on the road.
    This, and stench in the Senate, reminded me of a story told about what was going on at Los Alamos during WWII …“They are building the ‘front’ halves of horses and shipping them to Washington for final assembly.” …..

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  15. Melissa McEwan

    One of my favorite post titles evah! 😆

  16. Arkades

    WTP is going on up on Capitol Hill?!?

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