Gay Bomb

A couple people have sent me the link to this CBS story about the Pentagon confirming it sought to build a “gay bomb” which would have “contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another.” The weird part about this story to me is not that the Pentagon is staffed with morons who don’t have the foggiest idea how Teh Gay works, because duh, but that the story is not new. Spudsy blogged the story back in March. Where the hell has CBS been?!

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20 Comments

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20 responses to “Gay Bomb

  1. Well, thank you for that. CBS didn’t even hat tip me. Of all the nerve. Snort. Harrumph.

  2. i thought this project was completed years ago:

  3. (well, there was a clever picture attached to the above post…)

  4. Well, you know, CBS had things to do. Their kid had an orthodontist appointment, and they had to clean the leaves from the drain. And there was Paris and Lindsay to talk about, and well, things just got a little behind is all.

  5. SAP

    Yeah, Spudsy, who else is going to report on all the goings-on of stupid people like Ms. Hilton? That stuff just don’t report itself, you know!

  6. Arkades

    Freakin’ depressing that the military views Teh Gay as such a horrible thing to inflict on people that it imagines a large enough dose could destroy the enemy. How stupid is this? Let us count the ways:

    * Sexuality is so mutable that exposure to a chemical can suddenly alter it.

    * Teh Gay is so powerful that the possibility of controlling one’s urges will be futile. (As if gay men and lesbians already serving in the military aren’t obligated to demonstrate tremendous self-control!)

    * That having Teh Gay Sex is somehow so distracting or debilitating that the enemy would be unwilling or unable to fight.

    * The enemy would be so *shamed* by having indulged in gay sex that they suffer horrible psychological trauma and their spirits would be broken.

    There’s probably even more layers of homophobia I could pick apart if I really tried, but the above is plenty for starters.

    Anyone who thinks gay people can’t be brave or effective warriors has apparently never heard of the Sacred Band of Thebes. (Which easily turns the whole notion of DADT on its head…)

  7. Weapons of Mass Erection, it would seem.

  8. A bomb to… become gay.

    Ha!

    Oh. Wait, they’re serious?

    (Honestly, I thought that wasn’t a real article before I actually read it. WTP.)

  9. Doktor Wankenstein

    Someone set us up the Bomb.

    All your Gayz are belong to us.

    What you say!

  10. Paul the Spud, Boy Reporter! Too bad we’re way past the Age of Radio.

    Paul, do you have a press card stuck in the band of your fedora?

  11. The weirdest thing about this, to me, is the way it makes no sense on any level. Even granting the notion that the plan would work (pretty ridiculous) and that the now-gay enemy would be disabled by the irresistibility of Gay Sex, you have a non-lethal weapon that turns the enemy into rapists and rape victims!

    When the effect wears off, they are going to hate the nation that did this to them with a fiery passion (and be quite right to do so). Surely they could be as effectively incapacitated by LSD or ecstasy as by the Gay Bomb, without making them into an implacable enemy?

    Why would this ever be considered, even assuming you thought it might work?

  12. Paul, do you have a press card stuck in the band of your fedora?

    Hell, no. Do you think I want to look like Drudge? 😉

    I’ll stick with Jimmy Olsen’s bow ties, thank you.

  13. D. Edward Sauve

    Nice. Invest in the disguise kick, too, like in All-Star Superman (Morrison Rules!)

    Another gotcha: What’s to guarantee the enemy will find each other attractive?

  14. Doktor Wankenstein

    What’s to guarantee the enemy will find each other attractive?

    Burkas? (ducks)

  15. I just remembered why this was all so familiar. Not only had Spudsy posted about it before, it was also an episode of the Get Smart series.

  16. wasn’t that the nude bomb?

  17. As a friend of mine said after reading this story:

    Hmmm. So Teh Gay is supposed to make you an ineffective fighting force? — cuz that’s soooo how it worked out for the Spartans!

  18. Phill

    A BBC Radio one DJ mentioned this on his show the other day, I’ve found a clip;

    [audio src="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/aud...7-gay_bomb.mp3" /]

  19. Phill

    Sorry, that didn’t work. Try this…

    [audio src="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/audio/dailyclips/june2007/12-6-2007-gay_bomb.mp3" /]

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