Part wev in an ongoing series…
Ask.com’s new commercial.
Chicks with swords? Are you fucking kidding me? I can just imagine the brainstorming session on this one.
“All right, you advertising geniuses. What we need is a way to convey that you can find porn just as easy on Ask.com as you can on Google—and real kinky shit, too! Like, chicks with dicks—but, ya know, something we can actually put on the air.”
“Boss, I’ve got it! Chicks with swords!”
“Chicks with swords, Sanders? That sounds totally lame.”
“No, check it out—it’s a euphemism for chicks with dicks, right? But Mom and Pop America will never clack onto that! Plus, we can dress up hot chicks like Lord of the Rings extras, I Dream of Jeannie, maybe throw in a sorta Xena-type for the lezbeens, and cast a sorta geeky guy so there’s plausible deniability; we’re not pushing porn—he’s just into swords and sandals fantasy shit. And if some feminazi totally busts us, we’ll just say she’s crazy! That always works.”
“Good job, Sanders! You deserve a promotion! Now where’s that girl who always complains about misogyny in our campaigns? I need a cup of coffee…”