Potter wins again!

I’m sure you all remember Laura Mallory, the Georgia jackass that has been fighting to get Harry Potter banned from the Gwinnet schools. She lost to the school board, she lost to the State Dept. of Education, and she has now lost in superior court. Superior Court Judge Ronnie Batchelor upheld the ruling by the DoE that keeps the books available in the school libraries. Ms. Mallory trotted out the same crap she’s been saying for the past two years:

“This is not just fiction or fantasy in the books,” Mallory said. “Witchcraft is real. It’s been around for thousands of years, and we were warned of it from God.”
Mallory began to cry as she read testimony that had been presented in April 2006 by a then-15-year-old girl who said the Harry Potter books caused her to become fascinated with witchcraft and experiment with tarot cards, curses and seances.
“Your honor, we need God back in our schools,” Mallory said, with tears in her eyes, in the middle of reading the testimony.

As she continued her argument, Mallory said she feels there is a bias in schools against Judeo-Christian values. It’s not fair, she said, that the Bible isn’t used as a textbook while teachers are reading the Harry Potter series to students and classes are taking field trips to see the movies based on the bestselling series.

“We don’t want our children to be murderers, but we can’t teach that in our schools anymore,” Mallory said. “‘Thou shalt not kill’ is out.”

I’m pretty sure that schools can teach that people aren’t allowed to kill other people. And the whole “it’s not fair that the Bible isn’t a textbook”…yeah. A textbook? Uh, no. Don’t think so. Required reading for an objective comparative religion class in high school? Sure. But I don’t think that’s what Ms. Mallory has in mind…

She’s down but she’s not out yet:

After losing her latest battle to keep Harry Potter books out of the classroom, a Loganville mother on Tuesday said she may start a new case in federal court.

[…]

“I’ve done the best I can by myself,” said Mallory, who argued her case without an attorney. “Perhaps we need a whole new case built from the ground up.”

[…]

“God is still here, but he was kicked out of schools,” Mallory said. “I have a dream that God will be welcome back in schools again. I think we need him.”

[…]

Mallory said ultimately she wants the public to know the truth about witchcraft and the occult.
“I have to pray about the next step,” Mallory said. “I’ve been praying or I would have quit a long time ago.”

I think you got a bit of an answer here:

Potter theme park to open!

LONDON (Reuters) – J.K Rowling, who became the world’s first billion dollar author on the back of Harry Potter’s success, has given the go-ahead for the creation of a Florida theme park dedicated to the schoolboy wizard.

“The plans I have seen look incredibly exciting and I don’t think fans of the books or films will be disappointed,” Rowling said of the Orlando park that is scheduled to open in 2009.

Barry Meyer, chairman and CEO of Warner Bros. Entertainment, said: “Over the years we’ve received thousands of letters from fans around the world wishing they could visit Hogwarts (School) and the wonderful locations described in each of J.K. Rowling’s beloved stories.”

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a Georgia wingnut’s head exploding.

See also:

Harry scary
more on the scary that is Harry
Harry Potter and the Half-Brained Dumbass
No One Should Have Access to Anything!
She Speaks!

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28 Comments

Filed under 03_misty

28 responses to “Potter wins again!

  1. Teaching the bible in schools could be touchy; there’s a lot of sex and violence, including human sacrifice and domestic abuse, not to mention some pretty hot poetry. Check out the Song of Solomon; as Father Mulcahy noted on M*A*S*H, “Solomon had a lot to sing about.” And then there’s whole Jonathan and David episode; Fire Island in the Holy Land.

    There’s a whole lot of magic in the bible, too: turning sticks into snakes, parting the waters, the loaves and fishes (what, they couldn’t get a caterer on short notice?). But I guess we have a new rule: IOKIYAJF: It’s Okay If You’re A Jesus Freak.

    I don’t have a problem with teaching the bible in the school as long as they take out the naughty bits.

  2. Ouch. Thanks for following this. Banned Books Week will be coming up in a few months. Back when I was teaching, I noticed one year that without trying to, every single grade level was reading at least one book someone had tried to ban. A good sign. 😉

    As long as we’re talking about witches, I’m sure the kids can put Mallory in perspective when they read The Crucible in a few years.

    By the way, “We don’t want our children to be murderers, but we can’t teach that in our schools anymore,” Mallory said. “‘Thou shalt not kill’ is out.” is one of the most pathetic, irrational arguments I’ve ever heard. At least Mallory provides some comedy, and great examples of poor reasoning for logic and rhetoric classes. 😉

  3. tomeck

    Unfortunately for Ms Mallory, she probably be even less successful if she tried to get God back into our churches.

    I figure God is big enough to go anyplace he feels like, without asking Mallory for help.

  4. PortlyDyke

    Walking out of Christmas Eve service at my parents Lutheran church, my mom noticed the little goddess charm hanging around my neck.

    “Is that a pagan thing?” she asked, in a pinched voice.

    I replied: “Mom, we just drank the blood and ate the body of a guy who’s been dead 2000 years. Do you really want to get into the whole ‘weird religions’ thing?”

    A beat.

    “Well . . . no.”

    “Great — let’s go unwrap presents.”

  5. NonyNony

    Mallory said ultimately she wants the public to know the truth about witchcraft and the occult.

    That sounds so scary – the TRUTH about witchcraft and the occult. Oooooh. Spooooky.

    Nuts like her in the 80’s turned playing Dungeons & Dragons from a game that a bunch of geeky teenage guys did in their basements to an act of rebellion. Every decade seems to get some trivial crusade that the crazy religious folks can harp on about.

    And Mustang Bobby:

    But I guess we have a new rule: IOKIYAJF: It’s Okay If You’re A Jesus Freak.

    That’s not exactly a new rule. That’s pretty much a summation of the whole “You shall worship the LORD as your God and have no other God’s before me” commandment. Magic that comes from God is by definition Good and miraculous and something to pray for. Magic that doesn’t come from God is from some other god and therefore Evil and base and something to condemn. Whether it comes from some tribal god worshipped by non-Hebrew tribes or from the Devil depends on whether you’re talking 500 BCE or 2007 CE.

  6. There’s a whole lot of magic in the bible, too: turning sticks into snakes, parting the waters, the loaves and fishes

    But… but… those are miracles!

  7. DBK

    Shit, I cried when I heard that some poor kid heard about Christianity from some asshole in his grade school and became fascinated with the Bible and magic and other ridiculous crap. That kid wound up living in a trailer, sending part of his paycheck to some TV preacher and praying for prosperity when he could have just paid more attention in school, gotten a good job, and worked his way to prosperity. We need to take magic out of the schools all right. But at least the Potter books are clearly labeled as fiction, whereas these half-witted religious freaks think the crap in their fantasy fables is real.

    Disgusting.

  8. Nuts like her in the 80’s turned playing Dungeons & Dragons from a game that a bunch of geeky teenage guys did in their basements to an act of rebellion.

    Funny how that works. Rock and Roll was the devil’s music, don’t forget, as was jazz before it. The Life of Brian would never have made a penny without churches going apeshit over it.

    Of course, we wouldn’t have people like Mallory to make fun of if they didn’t lose their minds over this kind of thing either, so I guess we should be thsnkful.

  9. Sam Hensel

    I hope she appeals. I hope it goes all the way up to the Supreme Court. I have this crazy feeling that even Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas can recognize the absurdity of this case.

  10. I am curious if she represented herself because she couldn’t find a lawyer to take her case or if she is just so dazzled by her own mad argumentation skilz that she didn’t feel she needed one.

    Why stop with Harry Potter though? Why not just ban all books (except the Bible, naturally)? It’s a great idea since books really have cut into my reality-TV-watching time and my WalMart-shopping time. I hardly have time to watch crap or buy more crap.

  11. Maybe she lost her case because nobody told her testifyin’ ain’t testimony. (But I guess if she had to stick to facts she’d have nothing to say.)

    She’s a complete dumbass. But I guess that’s okay if you’re a Dumbass For Christ.

  12. anangryoldbroad

    I live on the other side of metro Atlanta from this dipshit. She’s not the first one down in this neck of the woods to pick on Harry Potter books. We had this same fight here in our county’s schools a few years ago,one mom who appearently has tons of free time(much better spent on her actual children and her own blessed family,one would think)decided to use this for attention. And the results were the same as this Gwinnett county case. What I wanna know is how she finds the time. I’m home all day with my kid and my house and my gardens and kitties and stuff and by the time the day is done,I can barely summon energy to shave a leg,let alone file a lawsuit.

    GA has a boatload of problems and none of them have a fucking thing to do with Harry Potter,that’s for sure.

  13. Doktor Wankenstein

    PortlyDyke, you made me chuckle out loud… and I’m at work, where I’m not supoosed to have fun.

  14. PortlyDyke

    Dok Wank — so glad to hear that my funny-bone still works.

    Maybe a new signoff?
    PortlyDyke, bringing laughter to wage-slaves everywhere.

  15. If she can get the case all the way to the SCOTUS, she may actually have a chance of succeeding.

    And hey,MB, could I add that Noah did some nasty after the arc landed, that would not be suitable for any school in the US.

    And PortlyDyke – I love it!

  16. Edo

    PortlyDyke,

    I replied: “Mom, we just drank the blood and ate the body of a guy who’s been dead 2000 years. Do you really want to get into the whole ‘weird religions’ thing?”

    LOL! That is brilliant. At least your Mom had the good sense to realize she was in a poor position and had the grace to drop it.

  17. We get the Knight Bus at our local branch of the county library! Mine kinder are really too old for all the goofy dress-up, but I think we’ll brave the crowds and go eyeball the outside, at least (if we can get close enough.)

  18. I have a dream that God will be welcome back in schools again. I think we need him.

    WOW! She really perceives this as some sort of civil rights crusade, the de-intellectualizing of our schools. Unbelievable.*

    * a lie

  19. Kate217

    When I was in high school/college, I played D&D. One of the ladies at church gave me an article about all of the evils it could lead to (which included rape, murder, and a bunch of equally-horrific things). I had to laugh when said list included “Jungian psychology.” Wasn’t the whole Joseph” story about dream interpretation? I assured the woman (who really was concerned for my safety) that my friends and I were perfectly capable of separating fact from fantasy and that the chances of one of us actually dying while playing were greatest from aspirating munchies.

    I also remember an episode of Room 222 in which the high school class is asked to write short stories. The only one that I remember the specifics of is a man in power (I don’t rememember whether it was a general, a politician, or what) sending a man to Viet Nam because he wanted to continue his affair with the man’s wife unencumbered. There were several other “scandalous” stories that had the town up in arms and (IIRC) picketing the school. In the end, it turned out that the exercise had been rewriting Bible stories in modern settings. The aforementioned story being David and Bathseba. The town shut up pretty quickly.

  20. Witchcraft is real.

    no, it’s not.

  21. Well, yes it is, Deeky.

  22. PortlyDyke

    Beat me to it, K.T.

  23. If witchcraft is real, I want my frickin’ Nimbus 2000, dammit!!

  24. Evelyn

    Hmmm, she’s been praying, but she keeps losing? How come God isn’t doing His part here? It almost seems as if it’s all up to her, ya know?

  25. PortlyDyke

    *Handing Uncle Mike his Nimbus 2008* Yes, the new models are released in advance, just like cars. (just kidding)

    Yes, witchcraft is real, but it’s not about wand-waving or broom-soccer.

    I just knew I’d go way too far out on a limb today.

  26. Doktor Wankenstein

    One of my best friends in college was a Wiccan — we’ve long since lost touch, but last year I found that she had a kickin’ blog.

  27. oddjob

    And Mustang Bobby:

    But I guess we have a new rule: IOKIYAJF: It’s Okay If You’re A Jesus Freak.

    That’s not exactly a new rule. That’s pretty much a summation of the whole “You shall worship the LORD as your God and have no other God’s before me” commandment. Magic that comes from God is by definition Good and miraculous and something to pray for. Magic that doesn’t come from God is from some other god and therefore Evil and base and something to condemn. Whether it comes from some tribal god worshipped by non-Hebrew tribes or from the Devil depends on whether you’re talking 500 BCE or 2007 CE.

    BINGO!!!!!

    Oh, and Portly Dyke? Your comment to your mom on Xmas Eve?

    Priceless…….. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. oddjob

    PortlyDyke, bringing laughter to wage-slaves everywhere.

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Blessed be, m’dear!

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