Looking at the sad sausage-fest that is their current crop of presidential hopefuls, some members of the GOP recently decided they’d start not-so-covertly campaigning for erstwhile Republican Senator and middling character actor Fred Thompson to get into the race. While some might say that the GOP’s palpable desperation for an heir to Reagan’s throne became completely pathetic once they fixed their sights on another actor, I would argue that it’s always been completely pathetic, but now has simply just been taken to a riotous level of literalism.
Well, their very, very literal fantasy may yet yield a very, very hopefully figurative collective orgasm, because if a report by Drudge-fluffer Mike Allen in The Politico is to be believed, Freddy will indeed be running for president.
(Here I’ll link to Cliff Schecter, who’s linking to The Politico, rather than directly to that putrid cesspool of journalistic waste, because every time you link directly to The Politico, the Glenn Greenwald caricature sheds a tear).
Anyhoo…the gist of Allen’s piece on Thompson is that he plans to announce his campaign during the Fourth of July holiday (barf), and that he “has already raised several million dollars and is being backed by insiders from the past three Republican administrations.” Insiders who, evidently, didn’t attend his disastrous appearance before the Lincoln Club of Orange County a few weeks ago. Then again, maybe Freddy’s given them a private performance showing off some newly acquired mad presidentin’ skillz; he is an actor, you know.
Hey—did I mention he’s an actor…? Like Reagan…?!
As far as I’m concerned, Freddy 4 Prez is fantastic news, because, in spite of his genuine(ly heinous) conservative credentials, he’s still less scary than Giuliani the Jackbooted, Romney the Wriggler, and McCain the Fucking Nutzoid Douchebag (not to mention Newt, who still might run)—so if the Dems manage to bloody blow it again and lose the White House again, which is never outwith the realm of possibility, I would, I’m horrified to say, prefer Thompson to the rest of the stinking lot being proffered by the rightwingers this go-round.
Also, I’m still rooting for a Thompson/Thompson ticket.
Fred Thompson for President.
Tommy Thompson for Vice President.
That’s GOP gold, baby.