Monica Goodling Highlights

Care of Petulant.

Seriously, if you watch nothing else, just watch it until you get through Rep. Bobby Scott asking her if she broke the law (which is hilari-sad: “But I didn’t mean to!”) and Rep. Linda Sanchez asking about her qualifications:

Sanchez: Before you joined the Executive Office for the US Attorneys in the spring of 2005, did you have any experience in making personnel decisions involving the hiring or the firing of employees?

Goodling: Um, yes, ummm… In the…uh… Putting aside, um, putting aside, um, college, where I was the student body president…we actually did hire people to work on various organizations–

Sanchez: In a professional capacity, outside of college.




Filed under 01_shakespeares_sister

33 responses to “Monica Goodling Highlights

  1. Chromosome Crawl

    “In a professional capacity, outside of college”


    If we work along those lines (getting a job that you had only college experience in…) I announce that I will be heading up my new radio station. I mean, I was a DJ all thru college, and I knows me some musicians…so I’m good to go, eh? I could also make a purdy good oncologist, using the above model.

  2. mekhit

    OMG. I have more experience hiring and firing people than she does.

  3. evilchemistry

    In a professional capacity, outside of college

    Then she says yes at the RNC! But I’m not a hack or anything.

    Is it to early or to late to start drinking mass quantities?

  4. It is amazing how these neocons have no trouble breaking the commandment about bearing false witness against one’s neighbor (and that would be one in the top ten list!), but my ass is going to hell for being a lesbian?


  5. Lizard

    “What is the will of Almighty God our creator on the legal profession?”


  6. PortlyDyke

    Pouring Petulant another double Macallan.

  7. FYI (If anyone wants to know Sanchez’ qualifications):

    Linda T. Sánchez (born January 28, 1969 in Orange, California), an American politician, has been a Democratic member of the United States House of Representatives since 2003, representing the 39th District of California (map). She was born in Orange, California, earned her BA in Spanish in 1991 at the University of California, Berkeley and in 1995 her Juris Doctor degree at the University of California, Los Angeles, where she was an editor of the Chicano-Latino Law Review. She was an attorney specializing in labor law prior to her public service career. She is the younger sister of 47th District Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez, who is nine years her senior, making them the only sister pair to ever serve in Congress.

  8. PortlyDyke

    Is it just me, or does anyone else find her voice incredibly annoying?!?

  9. Why thank ye portlydyke! I know it is before five, but i added a little nip to my coffee.


    Her voice is rattling in my brain and WON’T GO AWAY!

  10. Raises hand – I do. ANNOYING.

    Could you imagine being interviewed by that peevish, petulant little voice.

    “Are you with us or against us? I have loads of experience weeding out those who are appropriate kiss asses – I mean, I was the student body president!” (complete with hair flip and condescending look)

  11. PortlyDyke

    Actually, it may not be her voice that’s annoying me — just that it’s in the wrong context. I have a friend with a voice like this, but I don’t find it annoying to listen to her.

    Then again, she’s 18, and is usually using that voice to say: “Hey! I have an idea! Like, let’s go shopping!”

    Watching this has inspired my new screenplay: Romy and Michelle go to Washington

  12. PortlyDyke

    I take that back. I love Romy and Michelle. I would never send them to a hell-hole like that.

  13. “I don’t believe I intended to break the law.”

    You don’t BELIEVE you intended to break the law? So maybe you DID intend to break the law?

    This whole thing is just comedy gold.

  14. Constant Comment

    KO compared her to Reese Witherspoon in “Legally Blonde.” Not a totally apt comparison, because Elle was actually smart, but pretty close.

  15. Jess Wundrun

    “I don’t believe I intended to break the law.”

    Maybe if she had gone to a real law school she might actually have a passing acquaintance with the law.

    She kindof reminds me of the Ainsley character on West Wing. But lots dumber and completely unburdened by charm.

  16. Watching this has inspired my new screenplay: Romy and Michelle go to Washington

    No, don’t take it back! It would be HILARIOUS!

    Here’s the plot:

    Romy and Michelle enroll in a fourth-rate law school that operates behind a TV studio that is owned by a televangelist — played by Fred Willard.

    The televangelist sends Romy and Michelle to work at the White House and they are put in charge of hiring and firing all of the White House staff.

    But — because they’re Romy and Michelle — they make incredibly strange hiring decisions. They replace all of the long-time White House employees with incompetant weirdos — communists, ex-cons, hippies, and even a serial killer!

    Finally, business at the White House grinds to a halt. The president is being fed nothing but tofu, which gives him explosive diarrhea. The first lady has an affair with a sleezy gigalo/con man. Sixty-year-old hippies have a “love in” in the Oval Office. The serial killer (who looks like Ted Bundy) starts killing off the president’s cabinet one-by-one.

    In the end, the old White House staff comes to the rescue and Romy and Michelle help them get their old jobs back.

    I’m tellin’ ya, this would be a big hit.

  17. Kevin

    Smear that shit right back on her lip where she can get a real good whiff

    Now that’s some Dirty… Sanchez!!!!

  18. Lizard

    Yeah, Jess, I was thinking Ainsley Hayes crossed with Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

    And yet, I find myself feeling sorry for her. She’s so obviously in over her head, and Regent University so clearly didn’t prepare her for anything that takes place in the real world.

  19. I have to say, I am not cool with the scapegoating of this woman. Isn’t it fair to say that she was hired to be Gonzales’ patsy? He has shouldered the blame for his actions almost entirely on her, and has developed Ronald Reagan syndrome (“I don’t recall”) about the whole mess.

    I’m not saying that she’s not culpable, and Gonzales will get his comeuppance too, but he should be the main whipping post here:

  20. FYI (If anyone wants to know Sanchez’ qualifications)

    LOL! Fritz, that was hilarious.

    Maybe if she had gone to a real law school she might actually have a passing acquaintance with the law.


  21. I’m with Lizard here, I actually feel sorry for her.

    She’s obviously completely out of her depth here. She has no training for this, and how incredibly lightweight her law degree was from McDominionist is showing through patently.

    Not to mention she is being scapegoated here. She’s a bloody FLUNKY, does ANYONE truly believe that things stop with HER? That THIS is the person that did all this?

    Because if so, I seriously need to have a word with you over a bridge …

  22. SCAPEGOAT? The woman admits to breaking the law, but she didn’t mean to. She HELPED to get the “dirt” on employees so they could weed out those of a different political persuasion or who weren’t doing their bidding. Yes, Gonzales is too blame, but I am not going to feel sorry for poor little Monica because her career is ruined. She chose this path and carried out orders more than effectively. But hey, she’s got immunity. Apparently they teach something at Regent besides How To Do God’s Bidding 101.

  23. Hey, nobody’s saying she’s innocent. I think that a few of us are disgusted because the more power you have, the less culpable you seem to be during a scandal. It’s the old “shit rolls downhill” syndrome being played out here.

  24. She wasn’t qualified to be a Paige

  25. Yeah, what Ginger said.

    It’s not that we don’t think she isn’t responsible for some of this shit, because she is, but rather that she is being scapegoated into being responsible for ALL of it.

    Gonzo and Shrub found someone to be a patsy, and I seriously get the impression she didn’t even see it coming, as incomprehensible as that may seem to us here.

  26. PortlyDyke

    I started to feel sorry for her (a little eensy bit), but then I watched the video again.

    On second view, I don’t think she’s stupid — not by a long shot. Like Gonzo, her words are carefully crafted in lawyerese to keep her (and others she wants to protect) out of trouble.

    I don’t think she’s being “scapegoated” — I think it’s quite possible that she’s taking a dive for the administration, but that’s not the same thing, IMO.

    Especially since she’s now immune from prosecution (that’s handy, isn’t it? — I wonder where a little down-home college girl like her got herself such a smart lawyer? — hmmm — I wonder).

    McNulty is clearly being groomed as the scapegoat (at least for now) — and I believe that she is commiserating in that scape-goating process.

    I don’t think that it’s ever been in my mind that she “did all this” — but it’s clear she has been a party to it — to say that this is because she was young, stupid, and female is an insult to the fine young minds I know, and to women, IMO.

    Arrogant, perhaps. Stupid? I don’t think so.

    In some ways, her willingness to stand up and take the heat for those who really “did all this” and therefore, providing a much-needed steam-valve for the whole mess, may actually repulse me more than if she actually were responsible for it.

    So no, I don’t feel sorry for her.

    And as to her being a flunky:
    Who is Monica Goodling?

    E-mails show that Goodling was involved in planning the dismissals and in later efforts to limit the negative reaction. As the Justice Department’s liaison to the White House (emp added)

    I could respect her, maybe even feel sorry for her, if she pleaded the fifth, and came clean. Until then her “I made a mistake/I didn’t mean to” comments simply nauseate me.

  27. What the fuck for? She took the job,took the money and kissed every ass in the White House to stay there and wrack her particuliar type of Neo-Nazi destruction. So that makes here the “Poor little pissed on angel” now? Not where I come from it don’t. You play the game you take what you get when you’re foul little ass gets caught out.

    And how come the foul little bitch is pleading the fifth when she’s alread worked an immunity deal? Cause she’s covering up for the top dick and she expects a payoff when this is over. WTF Deacon Dumb might even make her head of the World Bank like he did that other foul bastard.

  28. nightshift66

    She actually isn’t quite ‘immune’ from prosecution. Congress granted her ‘use immunity,’ which basically means that the gov’t can’t use her testimony to hang her. However, if they already had an investigation underway of her actions, OR if they can show completely independent sources showing her to have committed a crime, she can be prosecuted for them. Ollie North was convicted in trial court after he’d given immunized (sp?) testimony. It was overturned on appeal b/c the appellate court held that the state hadn’t proven their evidence was unconnected to his testimony. Nonetheless, it can be done.

    Of course, WILL it be? With these people in charge?? Ha. But then, she wasn’t going to be prosecuted anyway by this admin.

  29. Lizard

    What the fuck for?

    Because I’m a bleeding-heart liberal who’s soft on crime, I guess.

    kissed every ass in the White House to stay there and wrack her particuliar type of Neo-Nazi destruction

    She did who in the what now?

    She sucks, but she’s hardly the worst offender in this administration, and at the moment she’s the one getting most of the shit dumped on her.

  30. PortlyDyke

    Thanks, nightshift, for mentioning that distinction — I was aware of the status of her immunity — but, if she really is an innocent caught in the machinations of the political machine — then all the more reason for her to bring forth everything she can during her testimony (which she does not seem, to me, to be doing).

    Which only leads me to believe that she is choosing (or has been chosen) to cover for her bosses, and that she’s probably done nothing that she could be prosecuted for through independent investigation. That’s what makes her the perfect person to hold the “keys of the kingdom”.

    To lizard and ginger — I do feel sorry for her as a (possibly) young and impressionable woman, in some respects — I’m guessing that she’s probably not fully aware of the gilded cage she’s entered (and I agree with Grumpy that there’s probably a dangled promise of a pay-off for her).

    But when I strip off her status as a young woman — if I were to hear this identical testimony coming out of the mouth of an avid young male liaison to the White House, I would be screaming with rage — I would be shrieking: “Another young republican ready to ass-kiss his bosses into his own and other’s oblivion!” — and I do carry my own sense of “fairness” to this extent — that I must hold her to the same standards.

  31. Ha. But then, she wasn’t going to be prosecuted anyway by this admin.

    Exactly or anyone. There was a point in the hearing where she was asked who was paying her legal fees and she exclaimed she was, but “might” be forming a legal defense fund. I seriously doubt it will be necessary. Since she is a good Christian, that monies will probably end up as scholarship for Regent.

  32. She did who in the what now?

    Honey, if you haven’t figured out that that’s the way the White House works, from top to bottom then you ought to ask for your school fees to be returned. The whole Neo-Con thing is based on nothing else. Suck up to the boss and then when you’re caught out, lie about it to save HIS ass and your reward will be assured. And like all the other Jesus Freaks, be prepared to wait till the afterlife for said reward ’cause when you’re no longer usefull you are very quickly forgotten about. Just like all the young people who are dying in this fucking war. You see that “SUPPORT THE TROOPS!” dickhead at any of their funerals?

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