Part wev in an ongoing series…
Summary: A couple is on their first date, and the man is terminally bored by the (cardboard cutout of an actual) woman whom he nonetheless wants to fuck, so he’s “feigning interest, feigning interest” while she spews trite bullshit…until, that is, they’re “a few more drinks in” and she says she French-kissed her friend, and then he’s “gaining interest, gaining interest.” In no time, they’re heading back to his place, where the (cardboard cutout of an actual) woman passes out. But “hey—there’s no one around; I could still knock it out.” And then he’s “gaining entrance, gaining entrance.” But just as the (cardboard cutout of an actual) woman registers horror at what’s happening, he says, “Just kidding! … I would never do that! As far as you know…” And thusly does the hilarious song end.
This completely uproarious jokesong about rape comes to us care of actor and musician Josh Hopkins, whose fans think the video is all kinds of funny and anyone who doesn’t—surprise!—is humorless and needs to lighten up.
Gee, what does that remind me of? Oh yeah—this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And on and on and on because there are just so many goddamned hilarious things about rape, the jokes never fucking end.
In 2004, there were 209,880 victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assaults according to the 2004 National Crime Victimization Survey. Because of its methodology, these figures do not include victims 12 or younger. The Bureau of Justice’s National Incident-Based Reporting System data from law enforcement agencies covering the years 1991 through 1996 showed that 34% percent of all victims of sexual assault reported to the participating law enforcement agencies were under age 12. One of every seven victims of sexual assault reported to the participating law enforcement agencies were under age 6.
[Hat tip to Tracey.]