His Soul is Black with Perfection

From Jeffrey Goldberg’s great piece in The New Yorker, “The Republican Implosion,” comes this passage about the erstwhile exterminator who survives like a cockroach, Tom DeLay:

Earlier this year, he published a memoir called “No Retreat, No Surrender” (his spokeswoman says that he was not stealing from Bruce Springsteen, and that the phrase has been used many times throughout history, including by the Spartans and as the title of a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie), in which he claimed that as a young congressman he would on occasion drink ten to twelve Martinis at a time. In this period, he earned the nickname Hot Tub Tom. Then he found Jesus and, he said, stopped sinning. In the book, he freely confesses to committing adultery. “I had put my needs first,” he told me. “I was on the throne, not God. I had pushed God from His throne.”

Jeepers. I don’t believe I can concisely convey the depth of my belief that evoking a Jean-Claude Van Damme film in one’s defense is indicative of a huge, gaping, black void where one’s morals should be.

Ditto on claiming that finding Jesus means one stops sinning.

In the book, DeLay criticizes Gingrich for, among other things, conducting an affair with a Capitol Hill employee during the 1998 impeachment trial of Bill Clinton. (The woman later became Gingrich’s third wife.) “Yes, I don’t think that Newt could set a high moral standard, a high moral tone, during that moment,” DeLay said. “You can’t do that if you’re keeping secrets about your own adulterous affairs.” He added that the impeachment trial was another of his “proudest moments.” The difference between his own adultery and Gingrich’s, he said, “is that I was no longer committing adultery by that time, the impeachment trial. There’s a big difference.” He added, “Also, I had returned to Christ and repented my sins by that time.”

Tom DeLay: Pure as the Driven Snow Since the Mid-Nineties. Oh—except that one time.

25 Comments

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25 responses to “His Soul is Black with Perfection

  1. Pass the popcorn. This is fun!

  2. Tell me more about this “Christianity” where if you just say you’ve been a bad person and promise never to do it again you get a free pass. That sounds so…what’s the word…”liberal.”

  3. Angelos

    That gif is mesmerizing.

  4. Erin M

    What Angelos said… ::eyes glaze over::

  5. Melissa McEwan

    That gif is mesmerizing.

    Indeed. It’s from the 1984 classic Breakin’.

  6. Electric Boogaloo, baby!

    I liked Lucinda Dickey back in the day and looked her up. Here’s what she’s up to today.

    And I wonder why I rarely get anything accomplished.

    And I have it from multiple sources that Tom DeLay has, in fact, licked turds. He is a turd licker, by definition.

    –WKW

  7. One of my co-bloggers wrote about the Delay-Gingrich dustup this morning as well. No fancy gif, but there’s a lot of references to a gay-friendly resort in Key West that is, sadly, closing.

    And was I the only one who thought that DeLay was talking about taking a dump when he said ““I was on the throne, not God. I had pushed God from His throne”?

  8. oddjob

    I saw this garbage yesterday. His Hubris wouldn’t know the voice of God if it thundered to him from the heavens and then bit him in the ass!

  9. Gabe

    “Hot Tub Tom.” The horror…the horror.

  10. Chromosome Crawl

    “Ditto on claiming that finding Jesus means one stops sinning”

    Indeed, I get so sick of having to listen to people who thing that being born again is like taking their morning shower – “I’ve accepted Jeebus as my savior – no sins here!”.

    If I’m already gonna be thought of as bad in those circles due to my liberal tendancies, I might as well start calling people out when they trot out this crap.

    Oh, and I TOTALLY think that W’s little skit of looking for WMD should be changed to looking for sins. Perhaps I need to go in to work late in order to take care of the business of photoshopping “sins” into the spot of “WMD” for that bit…..

  11. Is that a real mugshot? If so, who the fuck grins from ear to ear when getting that picture taken?

    “Weeeee, I’m a criminal!”

  12. Melissa McEwan

    Is that a real mugshot?

    Yes.

    If so, who the fuck grins from ear to ear when getting that picture taken?

    Someone who was still a sitting member of Congress, knew that the picture would be published/broadcast all over the world, and wanted to look like he wasn’t remotely bothered by a prosecution that he was busily claiming was nothing but a partisan witchhunt.

  13. No Retreat, No Surrender was remarkable in that JCvD actually played the villain (a RUSSIAN!) rather than the hero. The hero was some kid who made Ralph Macchio look like Bruce Lee by comparison, trying to avenge his brother’s broken leg. It was one of those movies that provided endless laughs in its interminable mid-afternoon re-run slots on HBO in the mid-80s.

  14. Constant Comment

    I’m just amazed that both Newt and “Hot Tub Tom” (Ew. Ew. Ew.) would be able to find anyone with whom to commit adultery. (Where’s one of those devil smiley things when I need it???)

  15. People like DeLay practice idol worship.

  16. “There’s a big difference …”

    Sure, and it’s the usual difference for these hypocrites: the difference between “me” and “thee.”

  17. Nik E Poo

    Hmmmm. Tom Delay. DeLay. De-Lay.

    de-
    pref.

    1. Do or make the opposite of; reverse: decomposition.
    2. Remove or remove from: deoxygenation.
    3. Reduce; degrade: decholesterolization.

    Note to Tom: You can’t unscrew a hooker.

  18. Nik E Poo

    Awesome Van Damnit gif!

    How appropriate for a misogynist like DeLay to use a wife beating ass as an example. And of course, they are also both frauds. Delay’s and Van Damnit’s naked incompetence, also track pretty well. Both men, perform in front of the camera … as if no one could tell … that they are totally full of shit.

    Bravo.

  19. Arkades

    It would be nice if people like DeLay would realize that being forgiven for one’s past indiscretions does *not* translate to ‘full moral authority restored’.

    The notion that a former adulterer (Tom DeLay) eagerly casts stones at fellow adulterers (Newt Gingrich, Bill Clinton) shows either an amazing lack of self-awareness or an amazing lack of perspective. Not to mention utter shamelessness. He shows no comprehension of why people find his behavior and attitude offensive.

  20. Jeff

    Poor ‘lil “Hot Tub Tom”….those evil libruls wanna make him wear that Scarlet Letter FOREVER, just like that innocent little Hester Prine. Don’t they know that Jebus already forgave Tommy, and therefore, his sin don’t count no more?

    He reminds me of the character Delmar O’Donnell in the movie “O Brother Where Art Thou” who gets dunked in the river and claims the slate has been wiped clean;

    DELMAR
    Well that’s it boys, I been redeemed!
    The preacher warshed away all my sins
    and transgressions. It’s the straight-
    and-narrow from here on out and heaven
    everlasting’s my reward!

    EVERETT
    Delmar what the hell are you talking
    about? – We got bigger fish to fry -

    DELMAR
    Preacher said my sins are warshed away,
    including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked
    over in Yazoo!

    EVERETT
    I thought you said you were innocent a
    those charges.

    DELMAR
    Well…I was lyin’ – and I’m proud to say
    that that sin’s been warshed away too!
    Neither God nor man’s got nothin’ on me
    now!

    (later scene…driving)

    PETE
    The preacher said it absolved us.

    EVERETT
    For him, not for the law!
    DELMAR
    But there were witnesses, saw us redeemed!

    EVERETT
    That’s not the issue, Delmar. Even if it
    did put you square with the Lord, the
    State of Mississippi is a good bit
    more hardnosed.

  21. Now if Delay had quoted Galaxy Quest I could respect him, but a van Damme flick? ;-)

    Delay really believes most of what he spouts, from everything I’ve read. I’ll try to dig up the great WaPo profile of him from a few years back. He’s extremely judgmental and doesn’t speak to several members of his own family. He really believes that he’s on the side of God and that his political opponents are unwitting (or willing) stooges of the Devil. He’s a far right, authoritarian jihadist.

  22. Jeff

    1.) Sorry ’bout the double post….try not to sneeze when you are hitting the “enter” button.

    2.) Batocchio, I think the proper term for a texas rube like hot-tub tommy would be a “YEE-HAW-dist”.

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  24. Typical. Tom really thinks he quit sinning when he gave up screwing around on his wife? What about screwing the country? I think that counts.

  25. oddjob

    He’s a far right, authoritarian jihadist.

    And no more a Christian now than he was as a hot tub devotee. We are reminded that you can tell what sort of person someone is by the manner of “his fruits”. His “fruits” (his behavior) are just as vile now as they were then, perhaps more so since they’re now wrapped in a thick miasma of self-righteousness.

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